http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/Road_signs_warn_of_zombies
Zombies in Texas!
Zombies in Texas!
Here is a strange sign to see on the way to work in the morning.
http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/Road_signs_warn_of_zombies
http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/Road_signs_warn_of_zombies
Only two things scare me and one is former back-up dancers for Christina Aguilera.
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Gonzoron of the FoS
- Evil Genius
- Posts: 7694
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- Gender: Male
- Location: New Jersey
- Contact:
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Catman Jim
- Evil Genius
- Posts: 859
- Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 12:58 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Sunny Florida
I encountered this that morning. Later there was a news report explaining it was a hacker. The police are looking for him because its a class D misdemeanor.
Frankly, I'm outraged. Here we have an ordinary citizen, without regard for his own life, hacking into a sign to warn passing motorists of the shambling hordes that were no doubt at that very moment hungering for his flesh, and what does the city do? Brand him a criminal. No doubt they needed a scape goat as they try to cover up the infestation. Consistently, the government chooses to smoke screen the problem rather than deal openly and effectively with the shambling menace that plagues our streets! Clearly by the time they admit to the existence of the zombies, the scourge will have spread too far to ever be easily contained!
These are grim times, people. Remember this when the apocalypse comes and the dead are knocking on your door. Its not the government that will save you, its the efforts each of you make to help your fellow man.
This man is a hero, not a criminal.
Also, if its anything, this should be a class Z misdemeanor.
Frankly, I'm outraged. Here we have an ordinary citizen, without regard for his own life, hacking into a sign to warn passing motorists of the shambling hordes that were no doubt at that very moment hungering for his flesh, and what does the city do? Brand him a criminal. No doubt they needed a scape goat as they try to cover up the infestation. Consistently, the government chooses to smoke screen the problem rather than deal openly and effectively with the shambling menace that plagues our streets! Clearly by the time they admit to the existence of the zombies, the scourge will have spread too far to ever be easily contained!
These are grim times, people. Remember this when the apocalypse comes and the dead are knocking on your door. Its not the government that will save you, its the efforts each of you make to help your fellow man.
This man is a hero, not a criminal.
Also, if its anything, this should be a class Z misdemeanor.
I'm just a ghost in this house.
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Joël of the FoS
- Moderator
- Posts: 7098
- Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2003 1:24 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: St-Damien, Québec
The people of Texas have my profound sympathies-
(Hey!)
-um, and the Voices In My Head express theirs as well. Hopefully, the citizens of Texas are dealing with a strictly local phenomenon. If not however, I have an inexpensive plan for the average Texas native:
1) Grab a bicycle. Try for a moped-if not, attach an engine to your bike. Avoid Scooters and motorcycles-you want to rely on fuel as seldom as possible, and you don't need highway velocities to outrun the Dead. Bicycles are far superior to Cars in matter of terrain and maneuverability, and you can lose Zombies in a traffic jam by distracting them with less-mobile prey...
2) Get in shape. Join a Cycle club for both motivation and contacts. Mention Zombies once in awhile as 'a running joke'. Encourage the purchase of Cell phones for Emergency use-get a Contact list for all members.
3) Memorize the shortest and clearest routes to your Police and National Guard stations. Get your Safe House ready-any experienced Zombie Fighters know the drill here-but try and stock for more persons than usual.
4) Z-Day. The Threat is too big to ignore but not yet at critical mass. Call your Cyclist Club-they will believe you now, so bask in their admiration-and can be lead. Divide up into Fire Teams, arm them with Pickaxes and Biking Leathers-Roll Out.
5) Feel free to engage Single Animates only if you are absolutely certain of easy victory, otherwise evade them. Once a large group of Zombies have been spotted (5 Dead per Cyclist or more), GET THEIR ATTENTION. Yes, this is slightly dangerous...Use your enhanced speed to avoid getting killed, but do not go so fast that the Zombies give up. I repeat-YOU WANT THEM TO CHASE YOU!
(Some loss of life at Step 5 may occur due to unavoidable bad luck. Take comfort in the fact that your Zombie Cyclist pal can no longer use his Bike once he's playing for the other team-lack of coordination and memory loss-and so the Speed advantage remains with the Living).
6) Lead the throngs of the Dead straight to the Police and Guard stations. Once the Zombies are within visual of the new targets, alter course and race at FULL SPEED away from the ensuing carnage-feel free to activate your Motors at this point! Race away to the Safe House for long-term planning and dinner.
7) Maintain vigilance with Red Cross radios and Wireless providers. If hysteria prevails, followed by increasing lack of signal, then your location has been overrun-if there are any doubts as to your long term security, load up all you can carry quickly, top off your tanks and look for easily-defended, rural locations where the Living can always maintain a speed advantage via Bicycle. Flat areas are good for speed, but mountainous terrain can work with the right Gearing and extra fuel reserves for Power Assists, and Zombies climb poorly.
If your information sources return to normal-and attempt to pass off the Zombie Slaughter as 'gang activity','armed insurrection', 'local explosion', 'Hazardous Waste Dump' or some such nonsense- then the Crisis is past. Do not mention your deeds as Big Damn Heroes to the public at this time-the only ones likely to believe you are Armed and have lost comrades to the Zombies, and will be perversely ungrateful for your assistance at leading the Dead Menace to their Doom...
8 ) Disband your team of Hardened Cyclists and have each member join another local Cyclist group. Joke about Zombies a lot. Encourage the purchase of Cell phones.
My experiences with this plan have been entirely favorable up to this point, and it has worked in low-lying Coastal regions, mountainous terrain and Dust Bowls. I have not yet had the honor of opposing Zombies in swampy terrain however, but suspect limited Cycle use there...rely instead on the preference of Alligators and other natural Swamp predators for decayed flesh over fresh. I have also never used this plan in Arctic Terrain just yet, but I think that a Pedal Hybrid Snowmobile could be devised...I suspect that the Dead in the Arctic would be less troublesome at any rate. If I find any successful Zombie Hunters with Swampland or Tundra experience i'll relay their findings ASAP.
Best of Luck Texas! Keep in touch!
(Hey!)
-um, and the Voices In My Head express theirs as well. Hopefully, the citizens of Texas are dealing with a strictly local phenomenon. If not however, I have an inexpensive plan for the average Texas native:
1) Grab a bicycle. Try for a moped-if not, attach an engine to your bike. Avoid Scooters and motorcycles-you want to rely on fuel as seldom as possible, and you don't need highway velocities to outrun the Dead. Bicycles are far superior to Cars in matter of terrain and maneuverability, and you can lose Zombies in a traffic jam by distracting them with less-mobile prey...
2) Get in shape. Join a Cycle club for both motivation and contacts. Mention Zombies once in awhile as 'a running joke'. Encourage the purchase of Cell phones for Emergency use-get a Contact list for all members.
3) Memorize the shortest and clearest routes to your Police and National Guard stations. Get your Safe House ready-any experienced Zombie Fighters know the drill here-but try and stock for more persons than usual.
4) Z-Day. The Threat is too big to ignore but not yet at critical mass. Call your Cyclist Club-they will believe you now, so bask in their admiration-and can be lead. Divide up into Fire Teams, arm them with Pickaxes and Biking Leathers-Roll Out.
5) Feel free to engage Single Animates only if you are absolutely certain of easy victory, otherwise evade them. Once a large group of Zombies have been spotted (5 Dead per Cyclist or more), GET THEIR ATTENTION. Yes, this is slightly dangerous...Use your enhanced speed to avoid getting killed, but do not go so fast that the Zombies give up. I repeat-YOU WANT THEM TO CHASE YOU!
(Some loss of life at Step 5 may occur due to unavoidable bad luck. Take comfort in the fact that your Zombie Cyclist pal can no longer use his Bike once he's playing for the other team-lack of coordination and memory loss-and so the Speed advantage remains with the Living).
6) Lead the throngs of the Dead straight to the Police and Guard stations. Once the Zombies are within visual of the new targets, alter course and race at FULL SPEED away from the ensuing carnage-feel free to activate your Motors at this point! Race away to the Safe House for long-term planning and dinner.
7) Maintain vigilance with Red Cross radios and Wireless providers. If hysteria prevails, followed by increasing lack of signal, then your location has been overrun-if there are any doubts as to your long term security, load up all you can carry quickly, top off your tanks and look for easily-defended, rural locations where the Living can always maintain a speed advantage via Bicycle. Flat areas are good for speed, but mountainous terrain can work with the right Gearing and extra fuel reserves for Power Assists, and Zombies climb poorly.
If your information sources return to normal-and attempt to pass off the Zombie Slaughter as 'gang activity','armed insurrection', 'local explosion', 'Hazardous Waste Dump' or some such nonsense- then the Crisis is past. Do not mention your deeds as Big Damn Heroes to the public at this time-the only ones likely to believe you are Armed and have lost comrades to the Zombies, and will be perversely ungrateful for your assistance at leading the Dead Menace to their Doom...
8 ) Disband your team of Hardened Cyclists and have each member join another local Cyclist group. Joke about Zombies a lot. Encourage the purchase of Cell phones.
My experiences with this plan have been entirely favorable up to this point, and it has worked in low-lying Coastal regions, mountainous terrain and Dust Bowls. I have not yet had the honor of opposing Zombies in swampy terrain however, but suspect limited Cycle use there...rely instead on the preference of Alligators and other natural Swamp predators for decayed flesh over fresh. I have also never used this plan in Arctic Terrain just yet, but I think that a Pedal Hybrid Snowmobile could be devised...I suspect that the Dead in the Arctic would be less troublesome at any rate. If I find any successful Zombie Hunters with Swampland or Tundra experience i'll relay their findings ASAP.
Best of Luck Texas! Keep in touch!
"And did she ever come out?"
"Not Yet".
"Not Yet".
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lordsathien
- Agent of the Fraternity
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2006 7:51 pm
- Location: Jonesboro, Georgia
- Contact:
Ah, but if the world economy collapses, the zombie plague will have more chance to spread and containment efforts will be severely hampered. In addition, more people out of a job means more people on the street, which means more chances of being bitten.cure wrote:Maybe those people clinging to guns and religion are sensible after all. And it's rather Obama who is out of touch with the true threats to the nation. After all what's 50 trillion dollars among the world's bankers, when there are 50 zombies pounding on my door?
I'm just a ghost in this house.
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High Priest Mikhal
- Evil Genius
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- Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2007 5:48 pm
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- Location: It's dark and I hear laughing.
I don't know about fire trucks. Fuel is a concern, yes. But try ramming through a mob of thousands of undead. I'd rather have something with a little armor and firepower, not to mention cargo space to hold extra guns and ammo. Dead Reckoning from Land of the Dead would be nice to have. Actually, that'd be nice to have for the daily commute. A lot of drivers on the road are already brain dead. Wait...that means they're zombies! NOOOOOO!!!!!
That would explain the poor teller service. They've been hiring zombies all along!
cure wrote:Hmm, dead banks . . . walking . . . that is to say . . . zombie banks!
The zombies pounding on my door and the financial crises are one and the same!
Mammon save us!
That would explain the poor teller service. They've been hiring zombies all along!"Money is the root of all evil...I think I need more money."