Top 100 Famous Last Words

[ScS of the Fraternity]

Has this ever happened to you?
You are Doom's Day Device is steadily counting down to total global destruction, even as you are locked in mortal combat with your arch-enemy. Suddenly, the plucky heroine gets the advantage and hurles you down into the atomic core of the infernal machine, foiling your whole scheme. In the throes of your death agonies, you open your mouth to vent your rage and scream:
"Your Momma!"

In moments of high drama, bad last words can lead to utter embarasement for all parties involved. Poor planning on the part of NPCs usualy results in ruined scenes. From the dreadful "Hey look, a quarter." to the shameful "Oops, I soiled myself again", your last impressions can leave a glaring black mark on an otherwise fiendish reputation.

But fear not!
Countless villians, anonomous thugs and bit players have been polled to create a database of final phrases, parting shots, and witty extis to be uttered just moments before death. Simply consult this list and choose your favorite to be uttered just before your final doom.

Remember; a catchy final word is the key to being brought back as a reoccuring character.

1) It’s just a flesh wound.

2) Don’t shoot the messenger.

3) Let’s play a joke on airport security – “Hey, Omar, don’t drop the bomb!”

4) Hey, it was just a cat.

5) It sure is dark in here. Let me light a match.

6) Don’t be so serious; what can a woman do?

7) Is it too late to change sides?

8 ) What’s behind that door?

9) I will not look down. I will not look down. I will….

10) That’s just a lot of silly superstition.

11) Relax, we’re perfectly safe.

12) Now no one knows your terrible secret. Except for me, of course.

13) What could possibly go wrong?

14) Missed Me!

15) Gandalf the White? What are you a virgin or something? Pansy.

16) Seriously baby, they didn’t mean anything to me. I swear.

17) What is this, a joke?

18 ) Sure, Captain. Just let me put on my red shirt and I’ll beam down.

19) Who’s there?

20) Okay, you have the gold. Now throw me the rope!

21) Here, let me do it you coward.

22) I only have two days until retirement.

23) If it wasn’t safe, would I do this!

24) What a pretty wooden horse. Let’s bring it inside.

25) What’s that noise?

26) You have a glowing red dot on you. Is there one on me?

27) Is that box ticking?

28 ) Why don’t you make me?

29) How do you pronounce this? H-a-s-t-u-r?

30) Whoa, cutie. It must be that time of the month.

31) Actually, I do feel lucky.

32) How many times do I have to say it: There are no such things as ghosts!

33) I told you we should have killed them.

34) You guys will come back for me, right?

35) I actively disbelieve the illusion.

36) Why wouldn’t I like you angry, Poindexter?

37) The humans have escaped!

38 ) Behind me? Ha! That’s the oldest trick in the book.

39) Three wishes, huh? Okay, I wish to be immortal.

40) Don’t worry; it’s dead.

41) After all this time, I’m finally free!

42) I have a last request: Don’t kill me and let me go.

43) I can hold it! I can hold….

44) I don’t need a map. I have a perfect sense of direction.

45) It’s always the red wire.

46) Why call for backup? We can do this ourselves.

47) Don’t worry; we are well out of range.

48 ) That’s got to be the lamest super power I have ever heard of.

49) Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.

50) Is it still out there?

51) We did it! We’re going to get away!

52) One more bite couldn’t hurt.

53) I can’t afford another speeding ticket. Let’s try to loose them.

54) A bullet is too good for you. I’ll finish you off with my bare hands.

55) Wussy. I’ll show you how a real man does it.

56) …And the best part is that the stupid fool will never find out!

57) King of the Faeries? What are you, gay or something?

58 ) Have no fear; God will protect me!

59) The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

60) It was just the wind. Go back to sleep.

61) Let’s just tell the truth. The king will understand.

62) Of course I know what I’m doing!

63) Sure he used to be evil, but we can trust him now.

64) Look, a burning fuse. Let’s follow it and see where it goes.

65) There’s a special trick to handling poisonous snakes – so watch carefully.

66) This is impossible! This can’t be happening!

67) You? But you’re supposed to be dead!

68 ) Of course it’s not loaded. Do you think I’m stupid?

69) Why would I sleep with the fishes?

70) Look, I’m a wizard just like you, see; “Fuh fuh fuh fuh! I wear a stupid hat”.

71) You don’t scare me!

72) That’s nothing. Watch this!

73) Well, the cars busted. Hey, let’s take shelter in that old rundown house.

74) Well, at least it can’t get any worse.

75) You mean “Have me over for dinner”.

76) Shut up with that chanting over there!

77) I hear all elves are gay. What do you think about that, ear-boy?

78 ) A robust wine with a hint of… almonds?

79) I know who the murderer is. It’s… oh, the lights went out.

80) Aren’t you going to tell me your secret plan first?

81) He’s just a little guy, we can take him.

82) Is the power off? Great, now help me cut this wire.

83) Bwa ha, ha, ha, ha …huh?

84) Look, those things are so cute and cuddly. Here little fellah, I have a treat for you.

85) This is too slow. I know a sort cut.

86) Seatbelts are for losers.

87) Look, see? Not a scratch on me.

88 ) The base is deserted – but they left this blinking red light.

89) They’re completely helpless. See?

90) Ha! You’re out of ammunition.

91) Give me another chance, master. I won’t fail you again.

92) You wouldn’t dare.

93) There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I think it’s coming closer.

94) You haven’t seen the last of me!

95) Oh, you said don’t push that button. Okay, I didn’t hear that.

96) Quickly, men: Fight him one or two at a time.

97) I claim diplomatic immunity.

98 ) Speak up, I can’t here you. “Get out of” what?

99) I knew you couldn’t do it. You’re too weak.

100) You can’t kill me: I am invincible!

[Dominique]

Hee!

I heard a couple of other ones at some point:

"You racists! Who cares if those elves are black, anyway?"

"I sure am glad that today is my last day in the army. Just a few more hours and I can go home to my wife and kids."

[Gemathustra]

"I'm sorry... Let's not fight. Here, I give you my hand in reconciliation!"

[Le Noir Faineant]

Right from my gaming table:

"Elder God? - What do you mean by Ctulhu?"

[Gemathustra]

Right from my gaming table:

"Elder God? - What do you mean by Cthulhu?"

Gesundheit.

[Le Noir Faineant]

[maraudar]

" I told you we should have turned left !"

" Treasure? What is this treasure you speak of?"

" Ooooooooohhh, that will leave a mark"


Maraudar

[Corrupted_Loremaster]

"Ok, he's out of bullets. We've nothing to worry about."

"Why is he waving his arms around and shouting?"

"Your kung-fu is weak, young pup!"

"What smells like burning dog?"

[Undead Cabbage]

Said this one myself - "Guys, my AC is 34, and my saves all have at least +10. There is no way that Mac (our GM) could ever kill me."

"Oops"

"What happens when your roll comes out to -1?"

"Now, see, you're still a M.I.L.F. But, you're not a Mother I'd Like to F***; you're just a Mother I'd Like to Flay."

"What up, shizznig dawg. It's the apocalypse!" (This player was exorcized, as he was in Mordent at the time. The exorcism led to his death).

Funny thing is, three of those came from the same guy. Lets just say, he never kept his characters for very long...

[Jasper]

*Starts singing in the shower* "Its the end of the world as we know it...."

"Join me and we will rule this world as father and....gnome.

"At last! I shall use the rod of Raguli forged by the great..*henchman whispers in ear*...WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS A $20 IKEA KNOCKOFF!!"

"Wow, I just got my deploma in the mail from the stormtroopers academy..."

"Yes I think it wise to keep the ninja troops in the same barracks as the pirates, why do you ask?"

[Charney]

Hee!

"I sure am glad that today is my last day in the army. Just a few more hours and I can go home to my wife and kids."

Now this one's the best

[Gemathustra]

"Stop everything! Stop everything! I need to go watch "All My Children!""

[VAN]

"I tell you ghosts do not exist!"

"You will not dare to shoot me"

"Lady Ivana, what do you say for a goodnight kiss?"

[Le Noir Faineant]

"Is that YOUR tentacle?"

"Haha, you're laughable! I have never heard of halflings that can be vampires as well!"

"I am fearless!!!"

[Reginald de Curry]

"Can I play a kender?"