Real life fear/horror/madness

[HuManBing]

Just got back from a Renfair. I'm not sure which was under greater stress: the tortured cleavages, or the tormented British accents.

[Dark Angel]

Don't you live in England? I thought every day there is Renfaire. You know, just like how every window in Paris faces the Eiffel Tower and tumbleweeds roll across dusty Southwestern streets every 15 seconds.

[High Priest Mikhal]

Don't you live in England? I thought every day there is Renfaire. You know, just like how every window in Paris faces the Eiffel Tower and tumbleweeds roll across dusty Southwestern streets every 15 seconds.

No, I'm pretty sure Bing lives in the States. Anyway, I can empathize with the British accents. Few things are more torturous than listening to an American try to sound British. I get flashbacks to the Austin Powers movies whenever I hear such. And not good flashbacks.

[Dark Angel]

Don't you live in England? I thought every day there is Renfaire. You know, just like how every window in Paris faces the Eiffel Tower and tumbleweeds roll across dusty Southwestern streets every 15 seconds.

No, I'm pretty sure Bing lives in the States. Anyway, I can empathize with the British accents. Few things are more torturous than listening to an American try to sound British. I get flashbacks to the Austin Powers movies whenever I hear such. And not good flashbacks.

Probably doesn't help that I am watching the first Austin Powers movie right now...

[Dark Angel]

Ok. We discussed it yesterday and then this was on Yahoo news today.

http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/dint-bill-g ... 48432.html

This cannot be at random, but there can be worse things than Americans with bad British accents. Not sure if its the actual clip or the amount of time the "news casters" spend on it. Be afraid...

[High Priest Mikhal]

And that's why I don't watch the news.

[Dark Angel]

And that's why I don't watch the news.

How is that news? My wife watches the news every now and then. If I sit close enough to hear it, I will constantly chime in, "That's not news." It bothers her, but it was not news. A girl who had to leave her hamster behind in Milwaukee on their way back to Georgia? Not news.

[High Priest Mikhal]

And that's why I don't watch the news.

How is that news? My wife watches the news every now and then. If I sit close enough to hear it, I will constantly chime in, "That's not news." It bothers her, but it was not news. A girl who had to leave her hamster behind in Milwaukee on their way back to Georgia? Not news.

Exactly. And it's not the fluff pieces that get me. If I watch the news I want to hear about current events that actually matter to the world, straight facts without bias, and no editorial. How did it come about that Comedy Central's Daily Show and Colbert Report are the most reliable news shows in America and I have to subscribe to British e-papers to even hear about some things going on in my own backyard? Somebody stop the planet, I want to get off!

[Dark Angel]

And that's why I don't watch the news.

How is that news? My wife watches the news every now and then. If I sit close enough to hear it, I will constantly chime in, "That's not news." It bothers her, but it was not news. A girl who had to leave her hamster behind in Milwaukee on their way back to Georgia? Not news.

Exactly. And it's not the fluff pieces that get me. If I watch the news I want to hear about current events that actually matter to the world, straight facts without bias, and no editorial. How did it come about that Comedy Central's Daily Show and Colbert Report are the most reliable news shows in America and I have to subscribe to British e-papers to even hear about some things going on in my own backyard? Somebody stop the planet, I want to get off!

Is it crazy that I almost sent the exact same message to you? Almost exactly.... And there is your madness check for today.

Almost as bad as the Austin Powers bit, but that was just scary.

[HuManBing]

Brotherly boredom

My brother's friend left his keys in my brother's car. So HDT decided he would buy an inflatable unicorn head and mount it on the wall above the friend's bed. When the friend eventually recovered his keys and went home, the girlfriend noticed something looming in the bedroom and refused to go in. The friend eventually ventured in, with the girlfriend recording this on her phone.

The video clearly shows the friend tiptoeing into the room and turning on the light, whereon they exchanged a glance of fraying comprehension and then said "HDT" in unison.

On brand names

LomboDot walked in on a conversation I was having with a new friend whom I think I have to call Joker. The conversation was about a type of Japanese noodle dish called Bukkake Udon, which is apparently an oddly-named buckwheat rinsed cold noodle.

LomboDot, who speaks English as a second language, piped up with the unexpected phrase "I have a Bukkake brand make up brush."

Joker and I stared at her with expressions of fraying comprehension.

LomboDot was undeterred and held up the cosmetic item for verification. I read it closely.

"No dear," I said, "that's a Kabuki make up brush."

"Oh," she said.

[Dark Angel]

Oh, I wonder where Freudian slips fall under regarding second languages...

[High Priest Mikhal]

The word is actually a noun of the Japanese bukkakeru and is used to describe hot broth poured over noodles, like udon and soba. The...uh, other meaning only dates back to the 1980s as adult directors came up with something new that didn't violate stringent censorship laws (a consequence of America's Victorian-esque morality when Japan was occupied after World War II).

[HuManBing]

On Chinese tourism

My sister/cousin came to America last weekend from Hangzhou in China. I heard she was in town at about mid afternoon, and I met up with her, her mother, and a businessman from her hometown over seafood at a classy hunting lodge restaurant.

She said she was looking forward to seeing the nation's capital.

I told her about the idiotic government shutdown and that she probably would not be able to get inside any of the monuments.

Oh, she assured me, that's quite all right. The initial plans for the tour didn't allow for actually visiting the monuments anyway. She showed me a brochure.

Washington Monument: 20 mins
Lincoln Memorial: 20 mins
White House: 20 mins
Capitol Hill: 20 mins

The entire aim of the exercise appeared to be: get on the bus and we'll drive you and seventy other Chinese tourists to all the most obvious photo locations and then you can be processed to have your photo taken there to show all your friends back in China that, yes, you indeed came to these places and had your photo taken there. Any actual cultural context or historical familiarity with the relevance of the place is strictly optional and extracurricular.

She wasn't alone either. At the Niagara Falls in Buffalo she bumped into three friends from Hangzhou: none of whom had registered with her tour group and all of whom were randomly and coincidentally there to similarly have their photos taken in front of famous US landmarks. The bus trips were legendary: breakfast in Buffalo, lunch in Philadelphia, and dinner in DC, punctuated by toilet breaks, which I suspect loom larger in their recollections of their American adventure than the landmarks did. Certainly the bathroom breaks had the advantage of urgency...

I told her next time she was in the country, she should budget more time to hang out with me. She said she'd really like that, especially if I'm still hitting up the music clubs and wine bars.

At that point I realized exactly how much time had elapsed since I'd last seen her. I stopped going to bars and music clubs when I left China... In 2002.

My idea of a good night these days is some vegetarian dinner, followed by board games, a shower, and falling asleep in a bedroom that's too damn cold beside a woman who thinks it's too damn warm.

[High Priest Mikhal]

At that point I realized exactly how much time had elapsed since I'd last seen her. I stopped going to bars and music clubs when I left China... In 2002.

My idea of a good night these days is some vegetarian dinner, followed by board games, a shower, and falling asleep in a bedroom that's too damn cold beside a woman who thinks it's too damn warm.

I can relate to this. Which is worthy of a Horror save as I realize I'm six weeks my 32nd b-day.

[LadySoth]

I had a real life madness check: went to doctor to get treated for a spider bite. Was given anti-biotics. Had severe allergic reaction to this particular brand of antibiotic and got very bad rash. Had to return to the doctor two more times and finally was given correct combination of pills/creams to treat the rash. I hate going to the doctors, and having to go 3x in one week was really too much.