Your wish granted...with a twist (part 2)

Books, movies, television and everything else
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JinnTolser
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Post by JinnTolser »

Granted. We all look at you askance for your laziness in looking it up. ;)

I wish my sandwich was fresh instead of spoiled.
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cure
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Post by cure »

JinnTolser wrote:I wish my sandwich was fresh instead of spoiled.
Granted. It is fresh, very fresh, and indeed starts putting the moves on you, caressing, pinching and slapping you knowingly in a lurid, wanton display of carnal lust.

I wish Salvador Dali was the Darklord of Vechor and the domain was the very incarnation of his mad vision.
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Sylaire
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Post by Sylaire »

Okay, Vechor is the very embodiment of Dali's mad, surrealistic vision of the universe. By the way, were you actually going to make a wish? :D

I wish I didn't have these horrible, nagging doubts that my punchlines didn't make any sense.
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VAN
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Post by VAN »

Granted. Now you have no doubts, you are absolutely sure that your punchlines didn't make any sense! :lol:

I wish when I watch a movie the phone not ring so often.
- The first 2 Feats a wizard should take are "point blank shot" and "Precise shot"!
- W H A T ! ? !
- Or they should NEVER memorize rays!
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cure
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Post by cure »

VAN wrote:I wish when I watch a movie the phone not ring so often.
Granted. You put yourself first and take the phone off the hook. Sadly, the film features Ben Stiller.
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alhoon
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Post by alhoon »

Wish!?
"You truly see what a person is made of, when you begin to slice into them" - Semirhage
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cure
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Post by cure »

I wish that I had remembered to make a wish.
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lostboy
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Post by lostboy »

Granted you do remember unfortunatly noone else does and the thread goes stale for a long time. However the evil powers of the land cannot let such an intresting thread lay dormant for a so long and someone answers....

The twist? You feel compelled to answer future wishes and play into their hands.... Mwahhahhahahahahah.....

I wish Wotc would see the error of their ways and do D&D 4.0 with Ravenloft being a fully supported setting.....
"I had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space..."
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Post by cure »

Granted. And they make the Dread Elf Pirate of Lake Baratok its jauntily clad overlord and master. Fortunately he is pestered from time to time by a steroid using cleric, formerly native of Darkon, who, when not training his epic level nieces in the fine art of tearing ghosts apart with one's pinkies, tends to his gardening and directs a martial arts academy in Mortentshire. We also learn what happened to Jacqueline Montarri's head. The Vistani ate it.

I wish that, were there such a project, competent and worthy people, some of them known to frequent this forum, would be put in charge of it.
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JinnTolser
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Post by JinnTolser »

Granted! But every single one of their plot ideas is subject to approval from fifteen different executives at WotC, none of whom can agree on anything and at least five of whom absolutely hate Ravenloft and due their best to ruin it. When the final product is released, the writers' fine work has been so heavily edited and changed that even they don't recognize it.

I wish Tool would put out new albums every 2 years instead of every 5, and that they'd get heavier again like they were back in the days of Ænima.
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Georg Kristianokov
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Post by Georg Kristianokov »

Granted. The only problem is that they haven't enough time to make good music.

I wish I had a cookie.

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lostboy
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Post by lostboy »

Granted you receive the cookie of your dreams, moist, choclatey, satisfying..mmmmm. Unfortunatley this is a Ravenloft fan site therefore your wanton desire for the cookie causes you to kill many innocent people and you are rewarded with a small domain in the dread realms populated by you and several thousand large human eating cookies for all eternity.....

I wish everyone could grow decent red wine in their back garden, thus avoiding having to pay for it.....
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The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space..."
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alhoon
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Post by alhoon »

Granted! Everyone has a large vineyard in their back yard. Everyone means whoever survives, since not everyhousehold has a backyard. Whole skyscrappers disappear in the mists as the households next to them develop a sudden backyard. About 1 billion people disappear, only to be found later burried under the vineyards. It seems that they were buried alive.
With so much quality fertilizer, the wine produced is decent as you wished. A pity that your house was one of those sent to the mists, and you have been suddenly burried under your neighbohr's new vineyard.

I wish all those disappeared skyscrappers and houses would crash down on unsuspecting people. (Is in a subterranean cave 200m below the earth).
"You truly see what a person is made of, when you begin to slice into them" - Semirhage
"I am not mad, no matter what you're implying." - Litalia
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cure
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Post by cure »

alhoon wrote:I wish all those disappeared skyscrappers and houses would crash down on unsuspecting people. (Is in a subterranean cave 200m below the earth).
Granted. But the twisted geometry necessary to make it happen brings our world into full aligenment with the realms of Lovecraft's penetrating perception. Happily the slogan of the Cthulhu for President 2008 campaign - "Why vote for the lesser evil?" - turns out to be a huge successful . . . for George . . . who is proclaimed president for life in a constitution breaker by the Supreme Court which thereafter dissolves as an ill-considered hinderence to absolute power.

I wish the internet connection worked upstairs.
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JinnTolser
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Post by JinnTolser »

Granted! Godzilla comes stomping down your street, and rips off the top floor of your house to throw at whatever giant rubbery monster he's fighting that day. The ground floor, on which the internet has been working fine, is now considered "upstairs."

I wish they would stop calling today Black Friday, and just leave it as the day after Thanksgiving.
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