Ah Rats. Here you guys are trying to put on a contest and my nature compels me to respond as follows. I'm hoping this won't lead to my ejection but if I don't share this, I'll burst.
Jason of the Fraternity wrote:The Challenge
1. Where would you find many court poisoners?
At any NBA game on the east coast.
2. What is the last entry in Paul Veneer’s journal?
I never wanted to do this in the first place! I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK!!!
3. What creature does Lord Soth beat with his bare hands in Strahd’s castle?
The papparazzi.
4. What are the names of the four sons of Rokushima Táiyoo’s darklord?
Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, and Shapiro
5. What is the material component for the Curse of the Barrow spell?
The Illudium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulatooooor.
6. What happens when Dr. Mordenheim closes Lamordia’s border?
Well, whatever it is, the oil companies will surely use it as an excuse to raise the price of gas!
7. What is the distance you have to swim to get to Adam's lair?
Approximately 26,400 chickens. (Give or take about a dozen or so)
8. What are Adohi feeding on?
Whatever it is, Let's hope it's not habit-forming.
9. Which domain is the "Leper Baron" from?
Sesame Street
10. Who nicknamed Azrael "The Sorrow of Sithicus"?
The National Enquirer
11. What plane is Gwydion from?
The one I kicked his ass to. Next week wasn't far enough
12. The Mistvale Forest is located near which mountainous formation?
Mount Phallic Symbol
13. What is "haunting" Clyde Banoliér?
That last plate of beans he ate.
14. In which domain does the ritualistic "Listen to me!" precede the storytelling?
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
15. What happens when Alfred lets go his animal instincts?
Still not enough to satisfy that nymphomaniac girlfriend of his.
16. Which spell uses a warped mirror for a material component?
The Makeover
17. Which fey creature suffocates infants in their sleep?
The Burger King
18. What do you have in particular if you can have the Horse Whisperer feat?
Hopefully just a sore throat and not Avian Bird Flu
19. Where would you find a temple of Kali?
On Ninth st between the McDonald's and the kosher deli.
20. What title does a 4th-level member of the Fraternity of Shadows receive?
A Teletubby
21. To whom does Dierdre Fobear write?
Ann Landers
22. How many murders are "credited" to Malken?
Given his credit rating, probably not a lot.
23. In which city can you find the Weeping Lady Inn?
Townville
24. What does a Mad Cap look like?
A baseball cap with the 'Mothers Against Defenestration' Logo on it
25. What type of metal is the Spear of Ahmoth forged from?
Z'nourrwringmm
26. What would be the game benefit of keeping your sword in the campfire?
If it's a broadsword, it can be used to fry eggs and if it's a rapier, it can be used to roast weenies.
27. Upon who did Ilsabet Obour wanted to get revenge?
Whoever had Britney Spears model for her painting.
28. Who was cursed to exist as both man and plant?
George W. Bush
29. What are the green-folk?
Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!
30. What moniker is Claudette duMartin better known as?
Tew Yssup
31. What was the topic of Professor Bodsworth’s report?
Sexual Fetishes of the Modern Suburban DarkLord.
32. What was the topic of Doctor Anthony Reuland’s report?
Greater mystical connotations of the question 'How much wood would a werewoodchuck chuck if a werewoodchuck could chuck wood?'
33. What is Mircea searching for when not looking for blood?
BEEEETS!
34. What alignment would you be if you are a Guardian Seeker?
Chaotic Indifferent Disinterested
35. What are the Arden Bay Cutters?
The winners of last year's inter-domain bean-eating contest
36. How was Abdul the Damned killed?
He wasn't. He was discovered living in a motel in Flushing next door to Elvis.
37. What is the name of the movie from which the image for the cover of QtR6 was taken?
Debbie Does Dallas
38. What is the cost per person of the Vistani elixir against Barovia's fog?
Four boxtops, three wrappers, two poptops, and one thin dime
39. Who is Math Mathonwy?
My Father's Brother's Former Roommate.
40. What is the nature of Xarthna?
Why, Sexual Repression, of course.
41. What is the nature of Xavier D’Arcey?
He's Sexually Repressed.
42. What is the nature of Rutternettle?
It's Sexually Repressive.
43. In which domain is the Hag Coraline now living?
In Flushing, next door to Elvis and Abdul the Damned
44. How much does a mist candle cost?
Less than a mist flashlight but more than a mist match.
45. Who lost a hand to a glutton?
Lefty
46. Name two books written by Malwid?
'How to get through high school with a stupid name' and 'Life after high school'
47. Which lady could be considered the Weathermay's nemesis?
Hillary Clinton
48. How many merfolk live in Ariath?
Not nearly as many as were there before the hurricane
49. Name the two enemies of Lutemmi?
Personal Hygiene and Sobriety
50. According to the Van Richten’s Guide to the Lesser Undead, what can newly-created ghouls be mistaken for?
Swamis with Salamis
51. Where is Snob Hill located?
In the Mall between the 'Old Navy' outlet and The Gap.
52. Where is it believed that gathering nails from the coffins in a graveyard is beneficial?
Inside the Tobacco Companies
53. Who could you encounter if you hear "snip-snip" sounds?
The Barber
54. Gennifer Weathermay-Foxgrove doesn’t like the smell of which particular plant?
The Iowa Beef Products main stockyard (PEEE-YEEEW)
55. Who do you worship if you are a zelldrow?
Marilyn Manson
56. What is the age span of Bleeding Willow?
It varies but they still get parts in movies
57. Who read Strahd's journal while inside the Ravenloft castle?
His bratty little sister hoping for blackmail material
58. In 753, who is the Vallaki Kargatane trying hard to get rid of?
The IRS.
59. In which city does Eduardo Leoni live?
We're still trying to find out after the hurricane
60. Which church of Ezra houses the secret lair of a gargoyle?
The one between the Undead Counseling Center and the The Were-pet shop.
61. Name the magic weapon of the Lady of the Lake?
The Dildo of Ultimate Orgasm.
62. Name a Falkovnian officer collecting arcane books?
Tom Delay
63. Which organization is Jean-Pierre Theroux a member of?
The National Association for the Advancement of Weird People
64. Where would you use a coin called a falconeye?
The Gumball Machine
65. Name the article title in which are found rules for playing flesh golem as PCs?
How to stitch yourself together in your spare time.
66. Which band of bards was tortured by Medraut Gundar?
The Osmonds
67. What is the name of the person who became Death?
Donald Rumsfeld
68. In which domain would you find heroes with the names of Havisha and Iele?
The socialist, democratic, federated, republic of Carbombia
69. What is troubling Celia Whitmoor’s life?
Dating, Schoolwork, and Acne!
70. What darklord has a floating rock for domain?
ME!
71. Where would you find a Spiriteater Basilisk?
Between my legs.
72. What happens on July 27th in Hazlan?
The next concert in the Stones tour.
73. What is the name of the lake in the middle of Souragne?
Greasy Lake
74. How many times was Falkovnia involved in war with Borca?
7 1/2 if you count that last time when both sides declared war but the one side went on strike and they sent everyone home.
75. Which domain is Agatha Clairmont from?
WossaMotta U.