The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Discussing all things Ravenloft
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Rock wrote:The crunch is important, but do not underestimate the value of the fluff. Take some time to discuss the races' culture, their society and history.
Having a viewpoint character to narrate an interaction with all these marvelous creatures can be very helpful.
I never would have thought of that. Thank you. I don't suppose you can help me come up with a viewpoint? Because my kneejerk idea would be an outlander (to better explain why they're so blaise about these races, when most Misty Realmsfolk would freak out to learn about them) of implicitly half-human or non-human origins who read Van Richten's Guides, perhaps even having been stranded in the Demiplane via the Cursed VRG Set, and is now trying to write his own guidebook to the hidden peoples of the demiplane, whilst wrestling with his conscience as to whether or not it would actually be a good idea to release this book.
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Jason of the Fraternity
Master of Illusion
Master of Illusion
Posts: 1484
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2003 7:12 pm
Location: Chicagoland area
Contact:

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Jason of the Fraternity »

Hell_Born wrote:Dread Genasi: A Quoth a Raven original, dread elemental genasi make sense to me for the same reason that tieflings do; they strike a balance between planetouched and caliban, and they fit well into the setting with their ties to dark magic and the dire forces of nature.
I cannot adequately verbalize just how much it stirs my otherwise withered heart whenever I see you (or another) referencing my old Dread Genasi article from so long ago... While not one of the best articles that has graced the pages of our beloved Quoth the Raven netzines, it was one of my favorite contributions that I made. Probably one of the most time consuming ones as well, since I spent quite a bit of time recreating each of the concepts to reflect the Gothic feel of the setting.

Hmm... With the new 5E setting material out, I might have to review my previous work and see if its worth rebuilding into a 5E version.
[i]Pandemonium did not reign, it poured![/i]
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Jason of the Fraternity wrote:
Hell_Born wrote:Dread Genasi: A Quoth a Raven original, dread elemental genasi make sense to me for the same reason that tieflings do; they strike a balance between planetouched and caliban, and they fit well into the setting with their ties to dark magic and the dire forces of nature.
I cannot adequately verbalize just how much it stirs my otherwise withered heart whenever I see you (or another) referencing my old Dread Genasi article from so long ago... While not one of the best articles that has graced the pages of our beloved Quoth the Raven netzines, it was one of my favorite contributions that I made. Probably one of the most time consuming ones as well, since I spent quite a bit of time recreating each of the concepts to reflect the Gothic feel of the setting.

Hmm... With the new 5E setting material out, I might have to review my previous work and see if its worth rebuilding into a 5E version.
Well, thank you! Actually, do you want me to leave Dread Genasi out of this project here, if that's the case? I'm not going to lie, mechanically, the Dread Genasi will be a challenge, since both 3e and 5e genasi are really mechanically underwhelming races, but I think with racial feats something that approaches the awesome flavor of this race can be pulled off.
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Jason of the Fraternity
Master of Illusion
Master of Illusion
Posts: 1484
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2003 7:12 pm
Location: Chicagoland area
Contact:

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Jason of the Fraternity »

Hell_Born wrote:Well, thank you! Actually, do you want me to leave Dread Genasi out of this project here, if that's the case?
You're very welcome. I would recommend putting the Dread Genasi concept "on hold" for your project for the moment. I'm not promising that I'll ultimately recreate a new Ravenloftian version for 5E, but it's a challenge that I'm considering looking into.

If I revise my old work and create a 5E Dread Genasi, then we can collaborate about either having working it into your project or being a stand alone item of my own (or maybe even both).

Hell_Born wrote:I'm not going to lie, mechanically, the Dread Genasi will be a challenge, since both 3e and 5e genasi are really mechanically underwhelming races, but I think with racial feats something that approaches the awesome flavor of this race can be pulled off.
You are correct on all accounts. I am fairly proud of the concepts for the 3E Dread Genasi that I created 15+ years ago, but the mechanics weren't as strong as the fluff and flavor (which was the bigger differentiation from the standard genasi races). The racial feats were included to help players select some additional mechanical aspects to further flesh out the dread genasi options. Would probably due similar for 5E, although this current edition seems to be a lot stingier with feats than 3E/3.5E.
[i]Pandemonium did not reign, it poured![/i]
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Jason of the Fraternity wrote:
Hell_Born wrote:Well, thank you! Actually, do you want me to leave Dread Genasi out of this project here, if that's the case?
You're very welcome. I would recommend putting the Dread Genasi concept "on hold" for your project for the moment. I'm not promising that I'll ultimately recreate a new Ravenloftian version for 5E, but it's a challenge that I'm considering looking into.

If I revise my old work and create a 5E Dread Genasi, then we can collaborate about either having working it into your project or being a stand alone item of my own (or maybe even both).

Hell_Born wrote:I'm not going to lie, mechanically, the Dread Genasi will be a challenge, since both 3e and 5e genasi are really mechanically underwhelming races, but I think with racial feats something that approaches the awesome flavor of this race can be pulled off.
You are correct on all accounts. I am fairly proud of the concepts for the 3E Dread Genasi that I created 15+ years ago, but the mechanics weren't as strong as the fluff and flavor (which was the bigger differentiation from the standard genasi races). The racial feats were included to help players select some additional mechanical aspects to further flesh out the dread genasi options. Would probably due similar for 5E, although this current edition seems to be a lot stingier with feats than 3E/3.5E.
For what it's worth, if you're curious, I actually did a draft of the Dread Genasi subraces already myself and they can be seen in the Gdoc linked in this thread; they might give you some ideas for revising things.

To be honest, I'm not sure what to be doing now... discuss the "slottable" races like warforged (dread golems) and shifters and what possible tweaks or additions they might need for Ravenloft (new Shifting options to represent Ravenloft werebeasts like wereravens, werepanthers, etc)? Start drafting the flavor text for the article? Share the Hagbreed and Ratling races as they currently stand so they can be picked apart as to whether they actually fit this project? Work on draft stats for vampyre and vorlog PCs? I just don't know...
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Wolfglide of the Fraternity
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:33 am

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Wolfglide of the Fraternity »

Hell_Born wrote:To be honest, I'm not sure what to be doing now... discuss the "slottable" races like warforged (dread golems) and shifters and what possible tweaks or additions they might need for Ravenloft (new Shifting options to represent Ravenloft werebeasts like wereravens, werepanthers, etc)? Start drafting the flavor text for the article? Share the Hagbreed and Ratling races as they currently stand so they can be picked apart as to whether they actually fit this project? Work on draft stats for vampyre and vorlog PCs? I just don't know...
I have two possible ideas:

(1) Have a collection of races all done and ready for submission. Once the mechanics for all of the races posted so far are settled, the flavor text for all of them can be composed. Once this is done, there will be a respectable number of races that are ready to be inserted into an article. Any additional time can be used to complete new races and add them to the existing bank.

(2) Get all of the mechanics out of the way for all of the races, then work on the flavor text. Since the mechanics parts have additional balance considerations, I personally find that these bits are trickier, and worth getting done early. The flavor text can be less constrained, and so it feels better to only have this left to go.

I think the first option may be better in this case. If the work to complete all of the races runs long, the flavor text creation could be limited to a tight time frame, and many would have to be left out anyway. If an article's worth of races are mechanically viable and narratively fleshed out, then there is less stress to be ready for submission.
Hell_Born wrote:
Rock wrote:The crunch is important, but do not underestimate the value of the fluff. Take some time to discuss the races' culture, their society and history.
Having a viewpoint character to narrate an interaction with all these marvelous creatures can be very helpful.
I never would have thought of that. Thank you. I don't suppose you can help me come up with a viewpoint? Because my kneejerk idea would be an outlander (to better explain why they're so blaise about these races, when most Misty Realmsfolk would freak out to learn about them) of implicitly half-human or non-human origins who read Van Richten's Guides, perhaps even having been stranded in the Demiplane via the Cursed VRG Set, and is now trying to write his own guidebook to the hidden peoples of the demiplane, whilst wrestling with his conscience as to whether or not it would actually be a good idea to release this book.
That sounds like a solid idea for a viewpoint.

Carrionette
Hell_Born wrote:To be honest, since 5e has now officially retconned the Carrionette as Small sized, I could just make it Small sized.
That would simplify things.

Ermordenung & Hebi-no-Onna
Hell_Born wrote:The Poison damage for all of these races uses the damage dice value from the Dragonborn, which has been lambasted for years as very underpowered. Add to it that it's one of the most commonly resisted damage types (albeit Utter Venom makes that less of a balancing issue for the Ermordenung specifically) and, well, I'm not so sure it's that big of a deal.
Hell_Born wrote:As I said above, the Hebi-no-Onna is doing one of the most commonly resisted damage types and the same amount that a dragonborn would be doing to multiple targets in an area. I'm not averse to reworking the trait with suggested improvements, but I'm not so sure just looking at it that it's hugely broken.
Maybe ... It is a bit hard for me to compare the two abilities. Breath weapons can be used once per rest, affect multiple targets (I think generally no more than six, given the areas described), and require saving throws to avoid. Poison touch can be used as many times as one wants, affects only one target (per attack, so multiple attacks could lead to multiple targets per turn), and takes an attack roll (so critical hits become possible). Also, many characters get extra attacks at 5th level, I think, so the damage output is potentially doubled from that point on, and every six hits would put out on average the result of a single breath weapon that hit all six possible targets (which would not be a common opportunity).
I certainly think this ability is more powerful than the breath weapon. Whether this makes it too powerful is perhaps still debatable.
Hell_Born wrote:And yeah, it stacking with Martial Arts is a little cheesy, but on the other hand, the Ermordenung's stats don't exactly align with the Monk's requirements, and you would kind of expect the kung fu master whose naked skin is deadly poisonous to be a bit more effective at unarmed combat than the regular kung fu guy, wouldn't you? Still, I can see the point... maybe Ermordenung Monk's can choose to either do Toxic Touch attacks, or Martial Arts strikes, which do Martial Arts-dictated bludgeoning damage plus bonus Poison damage equal to, say, the Ermordenung's Proficiency bonus?
Martial Arts already leads to some interesting interactions. For example, since the bite of the Dhampir lineage from Unearthed Arcana (I don't know how much it changed by the time it hit VRGtRL) qualifies as a monk weapon, it has its damage die adjusted by Martial Arts.

If there were no language stacking Poison Touch with Martial Arts, then technically the character could replace the 2d6 with the granted Monk damage die (still doing poison damage), but since 2d6 is better than all of the Monk damage dice, there would be no reason to. More importantly, the character could take an extra attack with a bonus action, which could increases potential damage output. By 6th level, the character is doing 3d6 damage per hit and could make 3 hits in a round (4 with flurry of blows). By 15th, this would be 5d6 damage per hit. In a few rounds, this would likely (I dare say, vastly) outperform the damage output of a breath weapon. Allowing the addition of Martial Arts damage makes this slightly better.

How about this? The Dhampir adds its Con bonus to bite damage, so maybe the Ermordenung can add some poison damage to all unarmed strikes (based on an ability score, or maybe proficiency). The full 2d6+ version can be classified as a separate attack form that is not an "unarmed strike" (that way, a Monk can't use it as an unarmed strike for flurry of blows and such). If it is still considered to be a form of simple weapon, the Monk will still be able to get an Extra Attack with it, but that is an issue that is not specific to the Monk.

Extra Attack seems like a reason to potentially curb the extended damage progression. I am honestly not sure it should scale past 2d6, but I haven't given it much complex thought beyond that. I also haven't considered the Hebi-no-Onna as deeply.

Lebendtod
Hell_Born wrote:Ironically, there's actually no real guide in Denizens of Dread as to how fast the Lebendtod's dismembered limbs can move.
The Nocturnal Sea Gazetteer has a Lebendtod template on page 274, and it has a table for body part speed. If you wanted to set some limits, it might be a good starting place.
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Firstly, I want to thank you for all these inputs!
Wolfglide wrote: I have two possible ideas:

(1) Have a collection of races all done and ready for submission. Once the mechanics for all of the races posted so far are settled, the flavor text for all of them can be composed. Once this is done, there will be a respectable number of races that are ready to be inserted into an article. Any additional time can be used to complete new races and add them to the existing bank.

(2) Get all of the mechanics out of the way for all of the races, then work on the flavor text. Since the mechanics parts have additional balance considerations, I personally find that these bits are trickier, and worth getting done early. The flavor text can be less constrained, and so it feels better to only have this left to go.

I think the first option may be better in this case. If the work to complete all of the races runs long, the flavor text creation could be limited to a tight time frame, and many would have to be left out anyway. If an article's worth of races are mechanically viable and narratively fleshed out, then there is less stress to be ready for submission.
Sensible suggestion... as it stands, these are the mechanically written vs. unwritten races:
* Written: Bakna Rakhna, Braunchen, Caliban, Carionette, Dhampir, Ermordenung, Fetch, Genasi (Dread), Ghedan, Ghul, Hagbreed, Hebi-no-Onna, Lebendtod, Mortif, Paka, Quevari, Ratling, Ravenkin, Red Widow
* Unwritten: Broken One, Vampyr, Vorlog

There's also the "gray area" in the form of races that could be ported in from other settings. For example, do we need to do anything mechanical for shifters or warforged? Should we really add revenants, vrylokas, ghost elves and diaboli? Back on the first page, I brought up handling dread doppelgangers in the 4e/Eberron manner, just making them Changelings with access to a psionic racial feat; should we do this?

Actually, come to think of it, I haven't actually shared the Braunchen, Caliban, Dread Genasi, Fetch, Ghedal, Ghul, Halfbreed, Mortif or Ratkin on this topic yet, they've all been in the doc, should I post them here?

I should probably abandon my original idea of folding broken ones and flesh golems together into a single PC race called the Blaspheme, shouldn't I?

Also... since 5e has a very downplayed set of racial traits, I've been thinking that it'd be good for this article to give each race its own racial feats to give it some more "oomph". The only one I've done that treatment with so far is the Dread Genasi, and I'm going to be leaving that out of this project as it stands to honor the request of its original creator. So brainstorming feats is another part of the mechanical generation for this project that needs to be undertaken.
Wolfglide wrote: That sounds like a solid idea for a viewpoint.
I personally quite like the Outlander Mage-Scholar viewpoint myself, so I'm happy to go with that. Any suggestions for a name? Because my first instinct is Professor Noma - Karsin Noma and his Teratronomicon.
Wolfglide wrote: *Assorted Crunch Observations*
Much appreciate all this input! I've actually gone over the races from this thread with somebody I know who's quite familiar with 5e crunch and a lot of the stuff you bring up has been addressed - all of the Poison damage racial features have been toned down, for example. Hmm... is it easier to keep referring to the doc for the most recent changes, or do I need to post them here for critique as well?

He did have comments that the Lebendtod's dismembering trait "felt off", and that the Red Widow felt very underwhelming from a mechanical level, so that's something I need to discuss with him further.
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Wolfglide of the Fraternity
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:33 am

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Wolfglide of the Fraternity »

Hell_Born wrote:There's also the "gray area" in the form of races that could be ported in from other settings. For example, do we need to do anything mechanical for shifters or warforged? Should we really add revenants, vrylokas, ghost elves and diaboli? Back on the first page, I brought up handling dread doppelgangers in the 4e/Eberron manner, just making them Changelings with access to a psionic racial feat; should we do this?
Things that already exist in 5e might be an opportunity to save work. I don't know how they work in 5e, but if it is possible to just put in a source reference and create new flavor text to adapt them to Ravenloft, that might be a convenient way to go. I know revenants exist as playtest material, but I don't know if they have been officially published anywhere.

Anything in the gray area could be put in the queue of "stretch goal" races in order of importance. That could save certain decisions for when time allows.

I haven't seen 5e changelings (actually, I did play with someone whose PC was a changeling, but I didn't see the rules for it), and I am not aware of how psionics are included in 5e. The psionic feat approach is certainly an idea, but I am out of my depth, so I can't quite evaluate it.
Hell_Born wrote:I should probably abandon my original idea of folding broken ones and flesh golems together into a single PC race called the Blaspheme, shouldn't I?
I don't know. That seems like a matter of personal taste, and I see the reasoning behind it. That said, broken ones and flesh golems are distinct enough that separate races would make sense too.
Hell_Born wrote:Also... since 5e has a very downplayed set of racial traits, I've been thinking that it'd be good for this article to give each race its own racial feats to give it some more "oomph". The only one I've done that treatment with so far is the Dread Genasi, and I'm going to be leaving that out of this project as it stands to honor the request of its original creator. So brainstorming feats is another part of the mechanical generation for this project that needs to be undertaken.
If you feel strongly about introducing the feats alongside the races, then this step should probably take precedence over new race additions. Whether or not to get the feats together before the flavor text is another question. Finishing the flavor text first has the advantage that the races could stand on their own if the feats take too long.
Hell_Born wrote:I personally quite like the Outlander Mage-Scholar viewpoint myself, so I'm happy to go with that. Any suggestions for a name? Because my first instinct is Professor Noma - Karsin Noma and his Teratronomicon.
I take it that the phonetic resemblance to "carcinoma" is intentional. Does he have an assistant named Abby Normal?
I like little allusions like that in names. The only question is how much you want the reference obscured, and that is just a matter of personal taste.
I went down a botanical teratology rabbit hole and came up with the name Eriophus Limenail, which is probably too tenuously connected to make sense.
Hell_Born wrote:Actually, come to think of it, I haven't actually shared the Braunchen, Caliban, Dread Genasi, Fetch, Ghedal, Ghul, Halfbreed, Mortif or Ratkin on this topic yet, they've all been in the doc, should I post them here?
Hell_Born wrote:Much appreciate all this input! I've actually gone over the races from this thread with somebody I know who's quite familiar with 5e crunch and a lot of the stuff you bring up has been addressed - all of the Poison damage racial features have been toned down, for example. Hmm... is it easier to keep referring to the doc for the most recent changes, or do I need to post them here for critique as well?
It would certainly save you work to just change the document and have us look at it. If you want to go that way, then that is fine by me. I can't speak for anyone else.
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Wolfglide wrote: *snip*
Alright, I guess I should start working on the article flavor text, and yes, Dr. Karsin Noma was chosen in spirit of the traditional Ravenloft approach of bad puns and blatant clues as names. I guess... just put what I come up with here for inspection?
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Wolfglide of the Fraternity
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:33 am

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Wolfglide of the Fraternity »

Hell_Born wrote:I guess... just put what I come up with here for inspection?
Sounds like a plan.
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Alright, so, first of all, here's the "framework" flavor text for my article in its first draft; can I get feedback on this?

Secondly, I'm thinking of applying the Natural Inclinations racial mechanic to this article's races. This is a variant on the core 5e race design rules from the Chronicles of Aeres 3rd party setting; each race begins play with a +2 ability score modifier, which can be put in one of three ability scores designated by race, and a +1 ability score modifier that can be placed in any ability score other than the one to which they applied their +2 bonus. I really like this system, which to me fits a sweet spot between the power & versatility of Tasha's floating modifiers and the flavor of the traditional racial ability modifiers. Would this be too problematic a system for QtR to handle?

Introduction
Greetings, reader. You hold in your hands what is hopefully the first of my scientific journals into the occult underground of this misty realm. I am Professor Noma, and this is my seminal product; "A Primer to the Umbra Peoples", the culmination of years of painstaking research across the manifold lands of this world.

Even before my recent arrival in the lands of mist, I was always a keen anthropologist, and I have observed on many worlds that a seeming multiversial constant was that humanity was never truly alone. Until I arrived here. This was the first realm in which humans seemed to reign over the world entirely on their own - oh, there were the usual demihuman suspects, the dwarves, elves, gnomes and halflings, but they were all marginalized, pushed to the fringes of society and scattered in small pockets across the land. This was so unexpected that I felt compelled to investigate, whereupon I discovered the truth: there are just as many nonhuman humanoid races in these realms as in the realms beyond the mists. They just exist in hiding.

Inspired by the phenomenal works of Dr. Van Richten, and his worthy heirs, in the form of the Van Richten's Guide series, I have created this text as a basic introduction to the different nonhuman peoples who inhabit the misty realms. For ease of reference, I have divided these races into three categories; the Created, the Divergent, and the Parallel. Please remember that these terms are used only for reference in this text, and are not used by the hidden folk themselves!


The Created
The Created is my term for those races which are not born naturally, but instead were artificially granted life through sorcery or occult sciences. The Created are in many ways the most unfortunate of the Umbra folk, for they are rarely endowed with the ability to walk confidently in disguise amongst human, compelling them to a life on the fringes of society unless they can find a way to endear themselves to a small community, or find solace in the ranks of adventurers.

(Broken One, Carrionette, Dread Golem, Ermordenung, Lebendtod)

The Divergent
The Divergent are those races who are tied to humanity through its blood; hybrids, mutants, and other multifarious offshoots. The Divergent are the Umbra folk most strongly torn between worlds, standing metaphorically between the occult underground so shunned by most in the misty realms and the world of the so-called "normals" of the land.

(Aasimar, Tiefling, Dread Genasi, Shifter, Shadar-kai?, Caliban, Deathtouched (Dhampir, Fetch, Ghedan, Ghul, Mortif), Feytouched, Hagbreed, Quevari, Ratling)

The Parallel
Finally, the Parallel are those races who, in realms beyond the mist, would simply be called "humanoids". They are not humans, and often have their own cultures to which they belong, but they either can pass amongst humanity or choose to live on the fringes of human society.

(Bakna Rakhna, Braunchen, Hebio-no-Onna, Ravenkin, Red Widow)

Afterword
Having reached the end of this primer, I find myself faced with a dilemma I firmly believe that knowledge is power. But I also understand that power can be misused. Van Richten's Guides were written to dispel the aura of secrecy and invulnerability surrounding the great monsters of this world, and I thoroughly believe he has only achieved good through disseminating such information. But I know that the humans of this world are gripped by paranoia, xenophobia, and hostility. Such reactions are not unjustified, but they also give me cause to fear. There are those who would take this text and use what I have written to root out all the beings I describe, simply because they are intelligent and not purely human, which in the minds of these individuals makes them a threat. I wrote this book to peel back the layers of ignorance and to offer a hope of a better future, a chance to bring peace... but I fear I may have well done the opposite...
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

So... should I start chipping away at the individual race writeups? Any feedback on how this first draft looks? Anything?
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
User avatar
Wolfglide of the Fraternity
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 12:33 am

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Wolfglide of the Fraternity »

Sorry; time got away from me. I think what you wrote in your prior post looks good.
Hell_Born wrote:Secondly, I'm thinking of applying the Natural Inclinations racial mechanic to this article's races. This is a variant on the core 5e race design rules from the Chronicles of Aeres 3rd party setting; each race begins play with a +2 ability score modifier, which can be put in one of three ability scores designated by race, and a +1 ability score modifier that can be placed in any ability score other than the one to which they applied their +2 bonus. I really like this system, which to me fits a sweet spot between the power & versatility of Tasha's floating modifiers and the flavor of the traditional racial ability modifiers. Would this be too problematic a system for QtR to handle?
I can't speak to how problematic that would be. It sounds like a nice middle ground to me.
Hell_Born wrote:The Parallel
Finally, the Parallel are those races who, in realms beyond the mist, would simply be called "humanoids". They are not humans, and often have their own cultures to which they belong, but they either can pass amongst humanity or choose to live on the fringes of human society.

(Bakna Rakhna, Braunchen, Hebio-no-Onna, Ravenkin, Red Widow)
This category confused me a little bit at first. After some thought, I think I follow, but since they don't connect to each other as clearly as the Created or the Divergent (the Parallel are kind of the leftovers of the entire collection), I felt that I had to do some internal searching to process the category. It could just be me, however.
Hell_Born wrote:So... should I start chipping away at the individual race writeups?
Certainly!
HyperionSol
Agent of the Fraternity
Agent of the Fraternity
Posts: 99
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2020 10:29 pm

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by HyperionSol »

I love the idea of genasi based off the dread elementals. While reskinning regular genasi works in a pinch, to see ideas for true dread genasi for 5E would be a treat. It could help build up the lore of the Dread Elemental planes and update them for 5E as well.
User avatar
Hell_Born
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Nov 21, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: The Caliban Chronicles: Nonhuman-Friendly Ravenloft

Post by Hell_Born »

Okay, it took me a while and I'm sorry about that, but here's a first draft of the caliban racial lore entry. Opinions?

Calibans
Without a doubt the most prolific of the Divergent races - indeed, of the Umbra folk as a whole - calibans proliferate throughout the misty realms and are the most widely recognized of the humanoid races of this world after elves, dwarves, gnomes and halflings.

Precisely what calibans are is hard to describe, although a very simplified explanation would be to describe them as planetouched unique to this demiplane of dread. To elaborate; calibans are a human offshoot created when an unborn child is corrupted inside of its mother's womb. Usually, this happens as a result of exposure to dark magical energies, either accidentally or sometimes deliberately, but they have also been tied to particularly extreme negative emotions or even to acts of blasphemy - cannibalism, incest, necrophilia and bestiality. Most native to the misty realms regard them as living manifestations of evil, either a divine punishment handed down for the sins of their progenitors or a symptom of a greater evil at work in their birth environment. I suspect instead that it is more that acts of darkness trigger an upswelling in the innate magic of this world, contaminating the unborn in a similar way that environments steeped in celestial, fiendish or elemental energy can give rise to aasimar, tieflings and genasi.

Calibans are invariably physically altered, twisted by the magical energies in their bodies in ways that separate them from the human norm. Such deformities may not necessarily be negative or even particularly ugly, but even the most attractive and well-made caliban is visibly not human, and as such elicits a stark negative reaction amongst the close-minded... who, sadly, are quite prolific in this world. While no two calibans look identical, studies of this race have revealed distinct 'archetypes' or perhaps 'strains' that a caliban usually falls under, and for this reason my usual analysis of physiology and psychology will be more in-depth than usual. I will do my best to examine the five most recognized caliban archetypes, before moving on to the more generalized societal traits common across the strains.

Whilst I will describe three examples of each archetype that I have personally met, I emphasize to readers that these are by no means an ironclad guide. Much like tieflings, calibans are remarkably divergent in form, and any individual is, in many ways, a species of one. In fact, it's not unheard of to encounter calibans that resemble races more familiar to those who hail from beyond the mists, or even for such races to be mistaken for calibans.

Before we proceed, I must acknowledge that the basis of this entry in my guide is taken from the manuscript "A Guide to the Caliban Race", which was discovered by adventurers in an abandoned warehouse in Darkonese city of Mayvin. Readers be assured that I have striven to confirm the findings of this unknown author as best I can.

For this first section, we will discuss the archetypes in the order of their prevalence; Brutes, Cannibals, Bestials, Banshees and Witchspawn.

Brutes:
The caliban archetype known as the Brute is without a doubt the most common of its kind, and in the eyes of many is perhaps the ugliest. As their name so bluntly announces, Brutes are characterized by extreme physical strength and/or resilience; even with their propensity towards warped spines and stunted or deformed legs, Brutes typically tower over ordinary humans and usually bulge with muscle. They often bear a resemblance to the half-orcs and half-ogres of worlds I have visited, but the mutations can be more extreme than that; jutting bony ridges, mismatched eyes or limbs, warped limbs, musculature swollen beyond reasonable growth, warts, pockmarks, tusks and fangs, these are just a small sample of the variety of ailments placed upon Brutes.

Also known as "The Accursed", Brutes have a sad tendency to be more mentally underdeveloped than most calibans, even given the race's tendency to be undereducated. Some Brutes simply never grow beyond the emotional and reasoning capacity of a child, others struggle with intense, almost uncontrollable surges of emotion. Sadly, their lot is to be regarded as all muscle and no brain. It bears emphasis that not all Brutes are like this; even those who seem "simple" can be surprisingly cunning, and more than one Brute has concealed a surprisingly formidable intellect behind a doltish facade. I have found many Brutes have a surprisingly innocent nature; a fundamental wish to belong mixed with almost childish naivete that sees them eager to make friends, and almost desperate to please. If treated with proper respect and kindness, Brutes can be incredibly loyal... sadly, this trait is often abused to lure Brutes into a lifestyle little better than slavery. The rage of an angry Brute is justifiably feared.

Perhaps because of this yearning for companionship, Brutes are the archetype most likely to try and forge a life for themselves amongst human society. Stereotypically, a Brute is either a lowly worker, often in agriculture, construction, or dockworks, or else a criminal. They can theoretically be found in any role in which their strength is an asset, although that is mitigated by the typical desire of the humans around them to keep Brutes out of sight.

Some of the Brutes I have met include:
Bandersnatch: I met this caliban in the sewers beneath Paridon. With greasy yellow, near-translucent skin that exposed throbbing veins and twitching nerves beneath, and a skeletal face against a thick-corded neck, Bandersnatch was quite a sight. His most iconic mutation was his arms; the left arm had withered away into a rounded knot of gristle, but the right arm had swollen into a writhing, boneless tentacle, topped by a meaty hand several times larger than it should have been. Even at rest, his knuckles dragged on the floor, and yet his grip was strong enough that he could pluck a man's head from their shoulders with a single determined twist. Bandersnatch had taken it upon himself to become a guardian to a small collective of human orphans, forgotten in the press of humanity; they begged and stole what they needed, and Bandersnatch dealt a swift, violent end to any who threatened his little charges.

Alice the Goon: This female caliban was the head of a thieves guild I ran across in Dementlieu, having assumed such a lofty role by employing her greatest asset; her underestimated intelligence. Alice claimed to be a mere enforcer for a reclusive boss thief, whom I discovered Alice had actually killed and buried years ago. The deception allowed her to operate almost literally in plain sight. After all, who would believe this caliban woman, with her long greasy hair, oversized arms, stunted legs and rippling muscles could actually be clever enough to outwit human criminals?

Hawg Welles: Encountered in Darkon, Hawk Welles showcases how fine the line between the different caliban archetypes can be. With his pig-like pink skin, thick layers of blubber, heavy two-toed feet and four-fingered hands, and prodigious tusks, he has an undeniably porcine appearance that suggests a Bestial caliban. But his strength and stamina both characterize him as a Brute. Welles owns a small pig farm, and lives a surprisingly comfortable life. Locals have learned the hard way to live him alone, however, as Welles has proven both willing to kill to protect himself and seemingly impervious to pain. I was regaled with many stories of the caliban stoically protecting himself against human aggressors, with one particularly noteworthy story being of a bully who tried to rob Welles in the middle of the street. According to what I was told, Welles calmly picked the man up by the head, ignoring the dozen dagger stabs to the chest he took in the process, and squeezed the man's head until it imploded before taking back his money and ambling home.


Cannibal:
Only slightly less common than the Brute archetype, Cannibal calibans may perhaps be the most feared of the five archetypes. Also commonly known as "Living Ghouls", Cannibals are physically characterized by subtle yet repulsive traits; slightly altered limb proportions that lead to a disturbing natural gait; hairless or rubbery skin, fang-like teeth, often crooked or overly abundant, claw-like nails, an overly long tongue or excessive salivation. In fact, many Cannibal mutations are very similar to traits seen in ghouls, and it's not uncommon for the deathtouched breed known as ghuls to be mistaken for Cannibals - and vice versa. Whereas Brutes are characterized by strength and stamina, Cannibals tend to be fast, agile and graceful.

In contrast to Brutes, Cannibals most strongly manifest their archetype in mental alterations. Calibans of this archetype are prone to strange and deviant hungers; warped digestive anatomies that not only make them capable of digesting noxious foodstuffs such as raw meat or rotten fruit, but an actual hunger for this vile fare. Full-fledged anthropophagic cravings aren't universal, but are common enough to earn this archetype its moniker. Others suffer instead from more metaphysical appetites; heightened libido, a natural susceptibility to addiction, startling compulsions and obsessions, especially with the more macabre or violent aspects of life.

Whilst Cannibals often integrate into the seedy underbelly of society, they are more willing to abandon humankind than their Brute kinsfolk. Entire clans of Cannibals are known to roam the wilderness of the Core, often making a living as bandits, mercenaries, graverobbers, bodysnatchers and other disreputable muscle. Invida in particular is known to be home to a network of large and sprawling Cannibal clans, whom Malocchio has eagerly courted to join his army.

Some of the Cannibals I have met include:
Sister Python, the Gluttonous Nun: It was in a traveling freakshow that I encountered the Cannibal known only as Sister Python. Clad in the vestments of an Ezrite priestess, Sister Python could have passed successfully for a human woman, albeit one of unusual height and slenderness, unless one paid note to the elongated nature of her limbs and fingers. Until she opened her mouth; curving, needle-like fangs frame a maw that can stretch to abnormal sizes, allowing her to take truly titanic bites. Her act, if one can be so generous, was to commit acts of truly stunning gluttony; at one performance, she singlehandedly devoured enough food to feed a family of four, whilst in another, staged for a more depraved audience, she consumed a suckling pig alive and whole in the manner of her namesake. I offered to free the poor woman from such exploitation, but she rebuffed me, claiming that she lived a life of ease and luxury compared to most calibans. The sad thing is, I cannot deny her claim.

Lady Lizabeth: I conceal this caliban's last name out of prudence. Born the sole daughter to a minor aristocratic family in Borca, Lady Lizbeth is fortunate in that her caliban traits are quite minor; deathly pale skin in which black-and-blue veins stand out prominently, and eyes of solid black, both traits that can be concealed with a little makeup and costuming. To the dismay of her parents, her mind is much closer to the 'norm' for Cannibals; she has an unshakable fixation on death and decay, taking a deep and sincere fascination in bloodshed and despair. She channels these longings into her artwork, and she is a talented artist, poet and songstress, but her family worries that the morbid nature of her works may attract the wrong kind of attention.

Toomes: This Invidian caliban was born to one of the great Cannibal clans of that land, but has since struck off on his own as a mercenary. Ironically, despite his upbringing and generally flexible grasp on morality, he does have a few very firm limits, most notably a distinct aversion to the idea of hurting children. He most recently made a stir in Nova Vaasa by hanging an aristocrat's gutted, jointed body from the gates of his own estate; the man, it was discovered, had a personal dungeon filled with peasant children, and I will not stain your souls by describing what he had done with them. He had made the mistake of hiring Toomes to assist him in gathering "playmates". Toomes can be recognized easily by his exaggerated, borderline rictus grin, bulging eyes, and long, slimy, black tongue.


Bestial:
The rarest of the "common" caliban breeds, Bestials, also known as "Man-Beasts", are calibans characterized by distinctive animal-like features. Depending on the individual caliban, this can range from relatively subtle mutations such as animalistic eyes, claws, fangs, a vestigial tail, overly abundant body hair or patches of scales, to full-fledged animalistic features. A Bestial caliban may resemble an animaloid race such as bullywugs, lizardfolk, lupins or catfolk, or may even be a chimeric creature, with multiple different animal traits. Strangely, calibans of this strain rarely if ever have the disjointed "piecemeal assemblage" appearance associated with broken ones; their appearance tends to be naturally harmonious, leaving them inhuman but at the same time not directly ugly, as is often the case with Brutes or Cannibals.

Bestial calibans tend to have a natural affinity for wild creatures and places - sometimes only those connected to their appearance, other times in a more general sense. They are much more likely to break away cleanly from humanity than Brutes or Cannibals are, preferring to live a life in the wild as subsistence farmers, hunters, trappers, prospectors, hermits and the like. Ironically, this means they are often more comfortable with themselves than the more civilization-orientated breeds are. Bestial calibans often have a sense of belonging and kinship that eludes many others; after all, animals do not care what a caliban looks like.

A downside to their mutation is that Bestial calibans often struggle with their bestial instincts. They aren't stupid, but they may well have animal-like impulses that they need to consciously exert control over, such as territoriality or a need for a strong social hierarchy. A ferocious temperament is a common failure; much like Brutes, Bestials can explode into uncontrollable violent outbursts if sufficiently pressed.

Some of the Bestials I have met include:
Nen Nine-Eyes: This spider-featured caliban, with his malformed, silk-spraying tongue, chelicae-like fangs, two pairs of semi-vestigial arms and name-sake multiple eyes, makes a very comfortable living for himself as a burglar and, it's reputed, sometime assassin, in the heights of Paridon. He climbs with a swiftness and surety no human can match, and can easily leap and bound from rooftop to rooftop, which has allowed him to easily break into the upperstorey targets he favors, as well as to evade Paridon's constabulary.

Brown Jenkins: Though originally of Richemuloise origin, I encountered this caliban in Mordent. With a body covered in fur, a long rat's tail and a distinctly rodent-like cast to his features, Jenkins admits to coming from a long line of ratcatchers and grimetrekkers, but was close-mouthed about what prompted his departure from the realm of his birth.

Empusa: This young lady was the first caliban I ever encountered during my first trip to the benighted realm of Tepest. I stumbled across a village planning to "burn an evil fey", and found myself watching as they dragged a terrified teenager to the stake. I had... opinions... about the matter, and after all was said and done, I took her in as my ward. I called her Empusa due to her mutations; cat-like eyes, ears and claws contrasting a donkey-like tail and hooved, digitigrade legs.


Banshee:
These rare calibans are also known as "Wailing Women", as the strain only seems to manifest amongst female children. If there are males of this strain, they are very rare, and/or so similar to their more common counterparts that they go unnoticed. In contrast to the ugliness of the other strains, Banshees are always beautiful... but it is a cold, eerie beauty that ultimately disturbs rather than allures. The pheomena has been explained to me that they almost, but don't quite, come off as human, being just that little too perfect.

Banshee mutations typically revolve around death and beauty; pitch-black, silver or white hair, unnaturally pale and cool flesh that may appear ice-hued, marble-white, or long-dead. Black or white or blood-red lips, nails and eyes, uncannily still and smooth features, and strange vocal manifestations are all common. It's not unheard of for banshees to be confused for dhampirs, or genasi of the ice, grave and blood strains.

Mentally, banshees are often as obsessed with the macabre as their Cannibal cousins, though they are more likely to exhibit this obsession through melancholia and artistic outlets, rather than the dark hungers of their kinssfolk. Banshees often become bards, channelling their dark affinity for grief, death and the dead through music and painting.

Because they do not visibly stand out as much as their cousins do, Banshees have the most luck with successfully blending into society, though even then they are usually kept at arms length as "creepy" or "disturbing". Their beauty merely shields them from the obvious slings and arrows cast at their more deformed counterparts. A startling number of Banshees, perhaps as a result of this, turn to arcane magic, finding a similar comfort in it that Bestial calibans find amongst the creatures of the wild. Banshees make formidable necromancers, having a natural affinity for spells that breach the barrier between life and death, though I have also met illusionists and enchanters amongst their ranks.

Some of the Banshees I have met include:
Glittering Gerda: I met this caliban in the borderlands between Darkon and Lamordia, where she lives as a hermit, keeping a small subsistence farm and honing her natural sorcerous talents. At a glance, I would have mistaken her for an ice genasi in other worlds; her skin of cold blue shot wit snow-white veins, bluish-white hair, misty plumes of breath and skin that frosts instead of sweats are all traits common to those paraelemental-kin. But her blood-red eyes, lips and nails all showcase her true caliban nature.

Bathory Requiem: Coldly beautiful, this Darkonese caliban keeps to herself, with little tolerance for the outside world; too often stung by mankind's cruelty, she has become as cruel as she is lovely. With marble-white skin, vampire-like fangs, ghostly whispers that underlie her every word and third eye, she is an obvious target for the many "witch hunters" of this world. Let the incautious be warned: she is a powerful necromancer, and has no respect for human life!

Nyx: This poor creature plays in a small theatre in Borca. Androgynous, with a flowing mane of black-and-white hair it weaves around itself like a shroud, solid black eyes and arms that resemble the claws of a giant raven, Nyx is a talented musician and songstress who is allowed to play at the theatre, and is even marketed as its star attraction. Alas, Nyx is famed not for their skills, but as little more than a glorified freakshow.


Witchspawn:
Rarest of all the calibsan strains, the Witchspawn defy the stereotype of calibans as tough, strong and dim-witted. Sharp-witted and usually physically unimposing, the strength of the Witchspawn lies not in muscle, but in their natural affinity for spellcraft, leading to their nickname of "Arcane Scions". Even the least deformed of witchspawn bears a palpable aura of arcane energies, and they are typically the most physically mutated of all calibans.

As their moniker suggests, Witchspawn typically bear mutations that resemble fiendish traits or homage the characteristics assigned by the superstitious to arcanists; horns, tails, hooves for feet, forked tongues, extra digits, bizarre colorations, extra eyes, witch nipples, vestigial twins. A Witchspawn can often easily be mistaken for a tiefling, which is no comfort in this realm.

Witchspawn are almost invariably highly intelligent, though I have heard stories of so-called "idiot savants" who had child-like minds but compensated with a powerful grasp of sorcery. They tend to be ruthless, disparaging towards those of perceived lesser intellect, spiteful, self-centered and callous, but I cannot say that these traits are inherent so much as they tend to be learned behavior; the rarity of Witchspawn has much to do with the sheer hostility their mutations provoke, and those who survive tend to be both those quickest to flee into seclusion and understandably jaded in the face of a cruel, hostile, unwelcoming world. Those Witchspawn lucky enough to be born in domains where arcane magic is welcomed, such Darkon or Hazlan, might tend to be more optimistic or otherwise positive in outlook, but even then, Witchspawn tend to cling to magic as the only true ally they have in a world that despises them, and be quick to vent their wrath on those that are beneath them.

Some of the Witchspawn I have met include:
Hagsget: Whilst he was born in Tepest, the caliban known as Hagsget has no love for his motherland, having only avoided the cleansing flames of its inquisition thanks to the love of his mother and a Halan priestess willing to smuggle him to safety - although she in turn simply abused him, to the point he turned his back on Hala as swiftly as he could, becoming a wandering witch for hire. Unnaturally tall, thin and gaunt, towering over others despite a crooked spine that thrusts barbs of bone out his back, with overly elongated, six-fingered hands sporting wicked claws, Hagsget is made all the more striking for the fact his facial features are incredibly well-formed and handsome, contrasting his otherwise warped frame.

Flamekiss: At first, I would have mistaken this caliban for a fire genasi, with her crimson-and-orange patterned skin, glowing eyes, black teeth and tendency to exhale smoke and cinders. But in fact this Hazlani caliban was born to a Mulan family in good standing, and was uncannily fortunate for her kind; recognizing her obvious mutations, she was sent to the Red Academy, where the revelation of her innate pyrotheurgic abilities meant she was upgraded from 'test subject' to 'student'. Perhaps unsurprisingly, she is a hardline mage supremacist, even for a Hazlani, and revels in opportunities to burn submission into "defiant drudges".

Malcubus: I met this traveling caliban on the road; unusually for a Witchspawn, he has taken the path of the bard instead of the sorcerer. With cloven hooves, a rat-like tail, tiny horns on his forehead and a forked tongue, the rationale behind his name seems obvious, and grows only moreso if one gets to know the sardonic, sarcastic, yet strangely charming individual.


Society:
Calibans are, fundamentally, human. As bizarre as their appearances may be, all calibans have the same basic drives and desires as any humanoid; sadly, in these misty realms, those desires often go unsated. Calibans are frequently killed at birth, forced into seclusion and raised in secret as the family shame, or dumped into the oft-brutal and uncaring "refuge" of religious or public childcare programs. Whilst there are a few who have the fortune to be raised by birth or adoptive parents who legitimately care for them and wish them well, for most calibans, life is an endless procession of loneliness and cruelties.

There are no caliban-exclusive societies that I am aware of, saving the Cannibal clans of Invidia. Brutes and Banshees typically cling to human society, so desperate to belong that they will tolerate the endless abuse society heaps on their heads. Bestials and Witchspawn usually retreat into the wilderness, becoming hermits and shunning contact with human cruelty. Cannibals can go either way.

Whilst calibans have a reputation as criminals and monsters, that is largely because society gives them limited option to be anything else. Only the magocratic society of Hazlan gives calibans any real chance of social mobility, and even then only for native-born calibans. Despised and abused by those in power, calibans naturally come to hate their oppressors. Religion offers them little comfort; the Churches of the Lawgiver and Belenus see them as abominations to be destroyed, and the Church of Ezra varies between treating them with contempt and hostility, an attitude which the Divinity of Mankind shares. Only the faiths of Hala and the Morninglord offer anything approaching a warm welcome. Nova Vaasan calibans do seem to feel a particular fondness for Mytteri, although that may be just part of the race's general tendency to embrace cults dedicated to magic, chaos, change and fiend-worship simply because such faiths exult them rather than damning them.


Adventurers:
Despite everything stacked against them, a surprising number of calibans become adventurers precisely because they maintain a fundamental optimism. They believe that the world is good, and that if they can prove they are not monsters, then they will be welcomed as the people that they know they are. Others take up the mantle for more selfish reasons; gold and power may be cold comforts, but cold comfort is better than no comfort. More than one caliban becomes an adventurer after they are saved by an adventuring party; beyond whatever practical considerations there are to sticking close to proven defenders, there is the simple fact that this may be the only kindness the caliban has ever known.

Brutes are most likely to be Barbarians or Fighters; despite their association with the criminal underworld, they tend to be legbreakers, muggers and muscle, rather than true Rogues.

Cannibals, in contrast, are largely drawn to the Rogue class, followed by Ranger and Barbarian.

Bestials are typically Barbarians, Rangers or Druids.

Banshees favor the Bard, Sorcerer and Wizard classes.

Witchspawn favor the Wizard, Sorcerer and Warlock classes.
"Is there any word more meaningless than 'hope'? Besides 'blarfurgsnarg,' of course."

"Seek and Locate! Locate and Destroy! Destroy and Rejoice!"
Post Reply