tomokaicho wrote:Xavan has a mere 8 ranks in Knowledge (religion)? I get it. Religion is not a class skill for Favored Souls. However, there is the Favored Soul 'dead levels' ACF which allows the Favored Soul to get Knowledge (religion) as a class skill and give up nothing.
Also, am I getting a Contemplative (the PrC) vibe from Xavan? I think I am. Much of the PrC abilities are immunities that Xavan already has by virtue of being Divine Rank 0, but the fluff is spot on. "Special: Must have had direct contact with one’s patron deity or a direct servant of that deity, or with an enlightened being embodying the highest principles of an alignment (a solar, for example)." He also gets new domains. With the dead levels ACF, Xavan can enter contemplative at his 11th level and have all 10 levels of the PrC by his 20th level.
EDIT: Then again, perhaps not. The Contemplative has terrible BAB and would be a pushover in combat.
Actually, it looks like he only has 6 ranks in Knowledge (Religion), as his Int bonus is +3. I wasn't aware of the alternate class features. One could argue that his perspective on religion is very narrow. While he might know his own well, his interest in the doctrines of other faiths is minimal. The Cult itself recruits "almost anyone with a pulse," and conditions them with the intention of gathering a large contingent of people who will obey without question. Xavan is quite free to invent divine mandate. I suppose it is sort of like being the spoiled child of a rich father.
Another complication of the Contemplative is the bonus domain. The wording is meant to interface with a class that has domains, and the Favored Soul does not. He would gain domain powers, at least, but perhaps not the spells. I agree that the concept of the class works.
I probably should have just constructed Xavan as a monster with Dragon or Outsider Hit Dice, then given him special abilities and an effective caster level. Building him more like a PC gave me more structure, which was comforting. The Favored Soul had a close enough concept of inherent divine power, and it gave him wings (medium half-dragons don't get those automatically).
Wolfglide wrote:I probably should have just constructed Xavan as a monster with Dragon or Outsider Hit Dice, then given him special abilities and an effective caster level. Building him more like a PC gave me more structure, which was comforting. The Favored Soul had a close enough concept of inherent divine power, and it gave him wings (medium half-dragons don't get those automatically).
Dragon HD would be better. I expect that you'd wish to avoid the issues resulting from Outsider HD.
In this case, Xavan would be a unique human black half-dragon; divine rank 0; 20 HD Dragon. Spells: Xavan casts divine spells as a Favored Soul (caster level equals Xavan's Dragon HD). Levels in Favored Soul stack.
You can simply give him the wings if he is unique. Xavan loses some of the Favored Soul abilities, but he already has many immunities thanks to his divine rank 0. Most importantly, he gains full BAB by virtue of his Dragon HD, which more fully justifies his bravado and foolhardy attack on the headquarters of the Red Haunt.
tomokaicho wrote:Dragon HD would be better. I expect that you'd wish to avoid the issues resulting from Outsider HD.
Indeed. Being in the unique position of a non-outsider quasi-deity is the reason he has no reality wrinkle, but is still able to part domain boundaries.
Two things work against this article right off the bat. One is the golden text where it is left unfinished; so, if I mention something should be added and its already in the works feel free to ignore me. The other thing is that I don't have access to all the canon sources for this character's and domain's history. So, if I point out that something sounds ridiculous but it is actually from a printed adventure or novel (and I am just ignorant of that fact) also feel free to ignore me.
My main objection to this write-up is the tendency to overstuff such a small domain with so many outre menaces, tenuous connections to other canon events and NPCs, and overly complicated explanations for things that could be explained away much easier. I will try to point out examples of such throughout my review as well as my ideas for fixes...
Introduction - The description of the approach is the first thing that seems off. While I like the idea of Blood Coral surrounding the island (and thus making it more difficult for outsiders to gain entry) I don't like the use it is put to here. What is the point of putting visitors into suspended animation and forcing madness checks on them even before they're inside the asylum walls? It's creepy, yes, but too soon in my opinion. Why not just put them in straightjackets and chain them in the hold? Or strap them into specially constructed gurneys?
The Mercy – Why does the captain have to be a cerebral vampire and the crew have to be cerebral ghouls? Why not just your run-of-the-mill mercenaries? They could perform the same function and not be as conspicuously supernatural. Again, leave the horror for behind the asylum's walls. Also, having the ship take a detour in the mists to reach its port is just needlessly complicated. Why not have the captain memorize his way thru the maze? Heck, keep the captain as a cerebral vampire and say his condition augments his perception so he is the only one who can pick out the correct path.
The Refuge – I love the idea of Dr. Heinforth using this book as propaganda to spread his fame throughout the Core. Perhaps include an excerpt or two?
Native Soil – This seems really powerful, and undercuts Heinforth's need to correspond or trade with the rest of the Core. After all, if he can make any concoction he wants at home why would he need to contact outsiders to obtain vital ingredients? It needlessly cuts off a reason adventurers might visit this domain.
The Docks (AKA The Cliffs of Insanity) – I'm assuming this description of 500 feet high cliffs is canon, but the elevator lift that rises thru stone columns seems a little too technologically savvy for my tastes.
Asylum Road – I like the idea of these camps and using patients for menial labor (“Get plenty of fresh air and exercise!”). Also, it presents plenty of opportunities for escape, which is much needed. I would expand this portion out as it brings a bit of normalcy to the surreal surroundings.
Annabeth's Crypt – I figure this is canon, or at least the idea is taken from canon, but why make it a mistway to Timor? There's no reason given for this. At least throw in a line about Heinforth or the other doctors hiring bodysnatchers from Paridon for experiments on the dead or as a source of fresh brains. Just imagine how creepy it would be to see a group of men bringing OUT a body from a crypt, then go back in and then re-appear only to bring out ANOTHER body, then they do the same thing over and over again like some clown car of the damned. (Okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away here...)
Wolf Packs – I can tell this bit is taken from canon, as well. While it's unlikely that more than one pack could survive within such a tiny island ecosystem, it's not beyond the DP's abilities. Plus, it's a nice callback to Heinforth's original appearance in Feast of Gobylns.
Kris – I like the idea of this character. Keep the curse of vengeance gimmick and drop the Gregor Zolnich connection. Not everyone has to have a link to a Darklord in order for their backstory to have gravitas.
The Ravenkin – This group serves as a great counterpoint to the prowling wolves. Every place like this needs allies on the outside to coordinate missions and provide vital information.
Wormwood – Okay, we already have packs of wolves, a wildman, and a secret society of wereravens running around the forest. Adding an undead treant is overkill and this entry could be cut without losing anything.
Bitterbark Sap - This, on other hand, is another great callback to the doctor's original appearance.
There are No Children Here – This entry is a little too creepy. Let's all just agree to keep kids out of the demented doctor's hands.
History – I like the idea that a domain associated with mental disorders has such a broken and convoluted history (first as Gundarak, then an Island of Terror, and finally Dominia proper). Parallels between the different stages of its development should be more clearly drawn here. Another thing that stands out is the mention of people I am not as familiar with. Who is Henri? Who is Cyrus? Why do they matter? I think this problem may be solved by deciding what belongs in Heinforth's personal history versus what belongs in the domain's official history. How much of this is common knowledge and how much would Heinforth keep hidden? Wouldn't it make more sense if explained his time as an Island of Terror as some sort of research retreat and leave it at that? Then, he decided to move to Dominia and build a new asylum after finishing up his studies? Then, we can get the true details of the dissolution and re-integration of the domain in the DM's Appendix.
Valstike Clan – I'm assuming this is from canon, as well. I get a very Madame Eva and Strahd vibe off of their relationship. It makes sense for the doctor to have field agents who can perform “extractions” for him throughout the Core.
The Secret Keepers – I like this idea a lot; it can be used to have PCs do a search and rescue type mission for any one of these individuals.
Ward Zero – I love this concept, but members need to be given a fuller description. A line or two about who they are, what their “affliction” is, and what special abilities they have (if any) would be fine. Perhaps this should be moved to where the ward details are enumerated.
The Wards – I like the general idea (Level 1 for non-violent offenders all the way up to Level 4 for the aggressively anti-social) outlined here. There's a lot of room for expansion, obviously. Do each of these wards take up one floor? What kind of activities go on during the day (and night)? How many patients does each ward hold? What do the cells look like (are they uniform and featureless or are they individualized depending on each inhabitant's condition)? Stuff like that would really bring this place alive.
The Tremblers – Look, I love Andre du Cire and his Museum of Wax just as much as the next guy. Why can't we just leave him in peace and let him do his own thing in Dementlieu?
The Gentleman – This is a great callback to one of the original bogeymen from the “Book of S” series. Nice job at rehabilitating this concept. The only thing I would advise is to just mention him in passing somewhere in the flavor text and leave his stats in the DM's appendix. Additional thoughts on this character can be found below...
Room 319 – Nice callback to Room 1408. A mistway to Bluetspur in the asylum is definitely a must-have. A room transforming into a mouth and “eating” inhabitants is such an awesome image. This should be the crown jewel of weirdness in the asylum, though, with nothing else even coming close.
Baykur Act – This sidebar is not needed. Just mention a holding ward for new patients and leave it at that. This may be a good spot to re-explain the mask thing, though.
The Ghoul King – Having a patient who is in the middle of a fiendish transpossession is fine, but allowing him to continue the process is ludicrous. Why would a Darklord willingly go along with someone attempting to usurp his power? You already have a beachhead for Bluetspur in Room 319, add in a fiend from the nether realms and this place just seems like a powder keg ready to explode. It should be dialed back a bit.
The El Koth – I would welcome this vanished race making an appearance here, but I'm not sure what direction it could take. If you focus on the them taking over someone's mind it's too much like the mindflayers' MO. But, if you focus on them taking over someone's body it's too much like a fiend's MO.
Relations with Other Domains – This is definitely the spot to touch base with Saulbridge Sanitarium (Mordent), Port-A-Lucine Asylum (Dementlieu), Clangor Asylum (Darkon) and any other fan-made asylums that I have forgotten. Make sure they have a broad range of associations and reactions (one is antagonistic or competitive, one is friendly but evil, one is friendly but oblivious, etc.).
The Thinker – A limbliss psion returning as a ghost? Too weird for my tastes.
The Telepathic Fountain – This is just strange enough to be canon, but the idea of cultists visiting statues of dogs in the middle of the night is just odd. It serves as a good link to the Core, yes, but it just seems like a really convoluted way to go about it. If Heinforth wants to talk to Akriel, just send a letter, or a minion, or a minion with a letter. There's no need to get fancy here.
The Fatted Calf – This entry is confusing. Are you saying Heinforth has tricked some kids into thinking they are living in something akin Disneyland? And then, there is some other group trying to wake them up to the reality of the situation ala The Matrix? Again, I believe it's just better to leave the kid angle alone.
Lycanthropy by Gaslight – This seems like a stretch. Heinforth is very self-centered; so self-centered that he lost rulership of a vast domain and barely blinked an eye. I see zero reason for Heinforth to be interested in studying other Darklords. He has plenty of other patients close at hand to play with.
Special Delivery – This is an interesting idea, but what is there to gain from this? Does Heinforth want to pass souless automatons as patients of his that have been cured and send them home to their relatives? What happens when these podlings are consumed?
Pest Control - A cranial rat infestation is a neat idea; an insane asylum is a great place to have such a group of aberrations show up. This could be played up by having one of the patients form a special bond with the swarm ala Willard.
The Help – It should be crystal clear by now that I am not a fan of every person in the employ of the good doctor being a cerebral vampire. If it is really such a difficult process to recreate, why is everyone and their brother one? The more of these things you have the less unique Heinforth becomes. Instead, I would like a majority of the staff and orderlies be regular (lawful evil) people; maybe have some that have failed a few powers checks here and there, but that's it.
Sleepwalkers – This is another interesting idea, but it might be better applied to NPCs rather than PCs.
Monsters – Out of the ones listed here I would focus on Feyrs, Tulpas, and Fleas of Madness. Dr. Blue already has Feyrs covered. There definitely needs to be a patient that has a Tulpa for an imaginary friend. And for some reason picturing Heinforth with a tiny vial of inert Fleas of Madness tucked away somewhere for a special occasion just tickles my fancy.
Crazy Feats – Again, these are neat but probably more useful for NPCs. The madness penalties seem a little too severe to make these worth it.
Marcus McFehr – I like the idea of a former patient of the good doctor wandering the Core, but his goals need to be elaborated on. Maybe have him be a Jim Jones type figure that gathers followers, has them drink some sort of “Kool-Aid” in the hopes of ascending to a higher plane, then they wake up in the welcome ward of Heinforth's asylum. That sounds just creepy enough.
Treatment Methodologies – I think this section should be expanded greatly. This is where the cruelty of what goes on behind the asylum walls should come to the fore. Here's my very rough breakdown of “causes” and “cures” that could be utilized:
1) Physical (unbalanced humors in the body) - trepanning, ice baths, bleeding, acupuncture
2) Behavioral (undisciplined, lack of will power) – isolation, animal handling, talking
3) Chemical / Mechanical (trauma to the brain) – drugs, electroshock, lobotomy
4) Metaphysical (trauma to the pysche) – dream analysis, hypnotism
The Gentleman (again) – I love the psychic surgery aspect, but I have lots of questions. What does he get out of driving people mad? And if his goal is to drive people crazy then why is he only able to be seen by those that are already insane? The text reads like he is feeding off of people's madness, but his abilities (hush, brothers, and his hounds) seem more useful in causing it. I admit, it's a damn interesting way to get someone cured. With a little more refining of this concept would really pop!
Mr. Blue – Its appearance here makes sense given Heinforth's backstory, but can I get a brief rundown of what this particular feyr and its familiar look like? What are its goals? Is it just concerned with staying alive? Searching out and melding with others of its kind?
Mr. Green - I love the evil Dr. Tasker but let Dr. Illhousen have his nemesis and let him remain in the Nightmare Lands. Not every psychiatrist mentioned in canon has to gravitate to this island. And making this figure only the dreamself of Dr. Trasker is confusing. So the “real” Dr. Trasker is physically in the Nightmare Lands and just constantly sleeping? What happens if he wakes up? And how exactly can you turn a dreamself into a cerebral vampire? If you want to keep him all this needs to be cleared up better.
Dr. White – This is the epitome of what is wrong with this article. Needless combinations of fantastic elements – she's both a Thaani and a vampire. Connections to canon NPCs – Lyssa von Zarovich – that serve no end except for name dropping. And no real motivation for why she is there except that it sounds cool and she's evil. Why not make her the one doctor that is actually trying to help the patients here? She could be using her position to find and rescue other Thaani throughout the Demiplane. Plus, her psionic powers could shield her true intentions from everyone else.
Dr. Brown – Surprisingly, I like the idea of a Lamordian doctor aligning with Heinforth and being turned into a cerebral vampire. At least he has a unique motivation. The transformation to a cerebral vampire is needlessly complicated, though. Why the sidetrek to Dr. Dominiani's grave at all? Why not go directly to the asylum?
Dr. Black – This character seems like a Mary Sue to me. Heinforth having a confidant in the Fraternity of Shadows makes sense, but is this canon? There's too much back and forth with not a lot to show for it. I like the character in general but the whole alchemical doppelganger schtick is too much of a sci-fi solution and doesn't fit in the fantasy setting.
Heinforth's History – There's a lot to unpack here, so I'm gonna take it step by step....
Early Life – I like that his initial motivation is saving himself from his family's hereditary madness. That's good stuff. I like him studying under Germaine d'Honaire (given the limitations of the setting's history). I like him culling a bride from amongst his patients, possibly tricking her into falling in love with him. That's a great detail that foreshadows his future actions.
Zheresian Sidetrek - I know everyone loves this domain's modernity but I'd much rather have Heinforth's “advanced” methods be due to his mania in finding a cure for himself and pushing the limits of knowledge and experimentation to the extreme. Also, his entire family being killed off by Bloody Jack is just excessive.
Return to Gundarak – I'm assuming most of this is canon and taken from either Death of Darklord or Knight of the Black Rose. I love the contrasts in his relations with Gundar and Medraut. I won't criticize much here, except to say that this is the most convoulted way of becoming a vampire I've ever heard of!
Exploring the Core – Why is this episode in his life important? It doesn't seem to add anything relevant.
Return to Gundarak (again) – Killing his patron just to tie himself to the land is a really unique motivation for becoming a Darklord!
The Crown of Souls – I love this bit of backstory leading up to his first appearance in FoG. Well done.
Lord of Gundarak / Grand Conjunction – I would like more of Heinforth's reaction to these events. Perhaps a first hand account of the exultation he felt when the darklordship first passed to him or the anguish he felt as the land dissolved around him during the GC.
Cyrus Longwell – I fail to see why this fellow is mixed up with the good doctor's life story. He's just a vehicle to bring more Heinforths into the mix, which I don't think this is a good idea at all. Does there really have to be a seminal event for him to re-join the Core? Maybe it was just the DPs responding to his need for more test subjects.
Current Sketch – I guess being oblivious to other's true intention works for this character's background. But it seems like a very slight curse. I think his paranoia of being betrayed should be played up more. I also think another fatal flaw could be his tendency to get sidetracked during his experimentation and thus losing sight of his main goal (a permanent cure for his own impending madness). There's a lot of neuroses here to work with.
Scalpel – This weapon's origin and powers are so ridiculous it has to come from canon. One, it's a shapechanger bane – okay. Two, it's a +1 magical weapon – fine. Three - crafted from a polymorphed vampire minion – say what? Four, but it can't hurt vampires – you don't say? Five, it's +5 against Harkon Lukas – sure, whatever. The very definition of over-the-top.
The Heinforth Forefathers – Making the good doctor just one in a long line of vampires makes him feel less unique.
The Heinforth Bloodline – Ditto for this. Not everyone needs the “Legacy of Blood” treatment. You add in Vistani, Mist-Touched traits, and time travel and this series of events is incredibly unbelievable.
Cerebral Vampires (feeding and procreation) – I know this article is attempting to answer something that was left open ended in the 2E MM entry for these creatures, but I think the process outlined here is just messy and raises more questions. I would much rather just have Heinforth be able to make new cerebral vampires in the usual manner (brain drain and resurrection) or not be able to create more at all. Turning those drained into cerebral ghouls instead of cerebral vampires seems unnecessary and wasteful. Just say cerebral vampires' feedings lead to madness, not death, which is why there are so few of them. Heinforth would naturally keep a tight grip on the creation of more of these.
Loose Ends – There're several omissions from Heinforth's history that I think could best be addressed within this article...
The Crown of Souls – Whatever happened to this thing? Is Heinforth interested in regaining it? Is it in Daglan somewhere? Where is the domain of Daglan now? The full story of what happened after the events in FoG should be told here, even if it is just as a dread possibility. It's not like we are gonna get closure on this from anywhere else.
Akriel Lukas – How does she feel about being betrayed by Heinforth? I know there was a line in here about her still having feelings for him but I think we should get a deeper dive into their relationship. Has she ever thought about visiting him – either to rekindle their love or in search of some revenge?
The Black Keep – GazI says Heinforth's old home was turned back into a military prision. How does Heinforth feel about that? Were there any dangerous items that were left behind? This would be a great place to revisit it in a little more detail.
Gundar's Return – This is another development that be should have its own dread possibility. Where is the duke now? Does he remember Heinforth's betrayal? Is he working on any plans for revenge? What counter measures has Heinforth taken to protect himself?
Case Studies – Here's some random ideas for patients that I've culled from various canon materials and real life analogues...
Abber Nomad – driven mad after being plucked from the Nightmare Lands and deposited in the Core by the mists
Alice in Wonderland – a young woman who spins tales about an elaborate fantasy world that she claims to have often visited as a child
Someone being fed upon by a Bastellus
Bogeymen Survivors – adults who were mutilated in some way by a bogeyman during their childhood and never regained their sanity
Cannibal (Hannibal Lector / Leatherface) – the kindly old man or professor who eats people and wears their skin as a mask afterwards
Captain Ahab – an old sea captain who believes a great white whale (or shark) is after him
Carrionette (Odiare) – someone possesed by a Carrionette, or who believes everyone else is
The Cassandra Syndrome – a woman who can see unerringly into the future, but all her propheies come out as inarticulate babbling
Don Quixote – A knight who attacked windmills becaue thought they were giants
Doppleganger (Zheresia) – a malfunctioning doppelganger who thinks he's someone different every day
Someone being stalked by a rogue Dreamspawn that appears inside and outside of their dreams
Half Man / Half Beast – a Broken One from from Markovia (beast to man) or a Mongrelman from G'Henna (man to beast)
Hunter S. Thompson – a drug-addled writer who is trying to convince people of the truth behind the powers that rule the Demiplane but nobody believes him
Hysterical Woman (taken from its original definition) – a woman driven insane after the loss of her childen and who pretends that they are still alive
Kafka – a man who thinks he is a bug
Kurtz (from Heart of Darkness) – a trader/soldier who returned from exotic lands believing himself to be a god
The Laughing Man – NOT the Joker, but someone with the Pseudobulbar Affect who laughs inappropriately and always wears a wide smile
Mad Bomber (Unabomber) this could be a Gnomish engineer who believes new technology is dangerous and needs to be destroyed
The Man in the Iron Mask (Bluetspur) – either Marcu Vasilis or another human/mindflayer hybrid locked away with a lead helmet that covers their face
Someone possessed by an Odem
Phineas Gage – a commoner whose personality changed drastically after having a spike pass thru his brain during a freak accident
Rain Man – someone who is hopelessly insane but can do extremely fast and complex calculations in his head
The Schizophrenic – Like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Two-Face, or even an orphaned Quevari that doesn't know their own lineage
Strahd Impersonator – Someone who thinks they are the lord of Barovia (like inmates who claimed they were really Napolean in our world)
Typhoid Mary – a woman who is sane but everyone around her goes mad (possibly related to Fleas of Madness?)
The Asylum – More of this structure needs to be discussed. I already mentioned a “welcome” ward. There should also be a isolation ward tucked away somewhere. A surgery room or theatre is another must. Plus, some sort of potions lab. All kinds of cool tools and equipment could be packed in there. If you want to get really nasty even include a Room 101 (from 1984), where everyone's worst fear lives.
Interesting Items – I unearthed from the Forbidden Lore boxed set that I think would be of use in an insane asylum setting. Their names are pretty self explanatory - Thought Bottle, Necklace of Memory Enhancement, and Globe of Serenity. Also, why not bring in a Flumph that acts as a mood ring? That sounds like just the type of thing an alienist would use in a fantasy setting to help in diagnosing patients.
On Asylum case studies, I would add at least a few people that are considered mad, but are not. Including bastard children of prominent families or people that claim one of the most powerful and prestigious families in the core are shapechangers (Reniers) or freaks that claim Strahd XIII and Strahd the hero are the same person.
"You truly see what a person is made of, when you begin to slice into them" - Semirhage
"I am not mad, no matter what you're implying." - Litalia My DMGuild work!
