I've been playing D&D too long.

Discussing all roleplaying games
Post Reply
User avatar
Nathan of the FoS
Fiendish Enforcer
Fiendish Enforcer
Posts: 5246
Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2003 3:39 pm
Location: San Francisco CA

I've been playing D&D too long.

Post by Nathan of the FoS »

The other night I woke up at 3 AM with the following song in my head. I just wrote it down; I swear my conscious mind is not responsible for it.

Dwarves think of themselves as brewers,
Trust the dwarves to get it wrong;
Dwarvish ale is thick and bitter,
Dwarvish whisky far too strong.

Gnomish beer is rich and wholesome,
Gnomish beer is brewed just right,
Flavorful and easy-drinking,
Not too dark and not too light.

Halflings are weak-headed people,
And they cannot make good beer.
They all cut their ale with water;
Halfling liquor gives no cheer.

Gnomish liquor’s rich and tasty,
Not too strong and not too weak;
Halflings who drink Gnomish ale
Wind up passed out in the street.

Elvish liquor tastes like flowers,
Elvish mead is far too sweet.
Elvish wine is hoity-toity,
Go and pour it in the street!

Gnomish liquor strikes a balance,
Not too bitter, not too sweet.
Elves should learn from gnomish brewers
How to make their drinks complete.

Humans cannot hold their liquor,
Humans can’t enjoy a drink.
Humans always start to brawling,
Human’s table manners stink.

Gnomes are all polite and mannered,
Full of cheer and full of song,
Gnomes can drink and stay clear-headed,
Gnomes can drink and get along.

Let’s not talk of orcish liquor,
Half-orc brewers make a swill
Even dwarves can tell is awful;
‘Fore you drink it, write your will.

That’s why we drink Gnomish liquor,
Gnomish ale and Gnomish beer,
Patronize a Gnomish brewer
For a lifetime of good cheer!
[b]FEAR JUSTICE.[/b] :elena:
User avatar
Le Noir Faineant
Rafe, Agent of the Fraternity
Rafe, Agent of the Fraternity
Posts: 4522
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:25 pm
Location: The Wind Isles

Post by Le Noir Faineant »

:shock: ... :twisted: I have an idea for this...
User avatar
Corrupted_Loremaster
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 296
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:48 pm
Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Post by Corrupted_Loremaster »

*Whistles and claps*
I think we're property...
That once upon a time, this earth was No-man's Land...but that now it's owned by Something:
That Something (now) owns this earth -- all others warned off. -Charles Fort
User avatar
Joël of the FoS
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6665
Joined: Sun Nov 30, 2003 1:24 pm
Gender: Male
Location: St-Damien, Québec

Post by Joël of the FoS »

*lol* Very good :)
"A full set of (game) rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together in a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole" (Adams)
User avatar
Luke Fleeman
Criminal Mastermind
Criminal Mastermind
Posts: 139
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 9:38 pm
Location: Central California
Contact:

Post by Luke Fleeman »

Oh my. I likes it.
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you - Friedrich Nietzsche
User avatar
ScS of the Fraternity
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2409
Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2003 10:46 pm
Location: Toronto
Contact:

Post by ScS of the Fraternity »

Once again, this forum has become a soapbox for radical Gnomish supremacy groups.
Evil Reigns!!!!
User avatar
Corrupted_Loremaster
Evil Genius
Evil Genius
Posts: 296
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2003 7:48 pm
Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

Post by Corrupted_Loremaster »

ScS of the Fraternity wrote:Once again, this forum has become a soapbox for radical Gnomish supremacy groups.
Still not as bad as the Gnomes in the PCRPG Arcanum though.
I think we're property...
That once upon a time, this earth was No-man's Land...but that now it's owned by Something:
That Something (now) owns this earth -- all others warned off. -Charles Fort
User avatar
alhoon
Invisible Menace
Invisible Menace
Posts: 8835
Joined: Thu Dec 11, 2003 6:46 pm
Location: Chania or Athens // Greece

Post by alhoon »

:lol: Guite Good Song.

PS. Halflings have good metabolism and can drink as much as an adult human. Halflings probably enjoy the gnomish drinks as much as their own. So the song is spreading lies.

PS2. Humans and Dwarves acknowledge the dwarven skill with ale. Humans and elves acknowldedge the elven skill with wine. So the song is spreading lies.

It is obvious you were under the influence of a Gnomish bard/enchanter while you were sleeping.
"You truly see what a person is made of, when you begin to slice into them" - Semirhage
"I am not mad, no matter what you're implying." - Litalia
My DMGuild work!
Post Reply