Café de Nuit

Adventures with HDT

1. HDT is large. HDT is sleeping in my sofa bed.

I prod HDT. He gives out a mix between a grunt and a gurgle (known in the family as a "murgle"). HDT has not moved from his position for a long time, which might trigger concerns that he was having some sort of health problem were it not so close to his usual demeanor.

SmallMom calls from China. I answer. SmallMom asks how HDT is doing.

Me: Well, he lay down on my sofa bed and hasn't moved all day.

HDT: distant murgle

SmallMom: Oh? How is he liking your house?

Me: It's hard to tell what function he plays in it. He's either a piece of furniture...

HDT: indignant murgle

Me: ...or a terrain feature.

HDT: plaintive, offended murgle

SmallMom: So... business as usual then?

Me: Yah.

HDT:

2. LomboDot and HDT

HDT is lying immobile on my sofa bed. I approach stealthily and quickly lie supine on top of his massive bulk like a happy cat on a mattress sunning himself. HDT gives out a startled murgle and then continues sleeping.

LomboDot takes a picture.

Then LomboDot climbs on top of me and makes herself comfortable like a second cat on a bigger cat on a mattress.

There is a photograph of the three of us (with faces at least partially visible) where LomboDot is using me as a mattress and I'm using HDT as a mattress.

HDT has no memory of this.

3. Rock climbing with LomboDot and HDT. HMB is belaying (i.e. controlling the safety rope) for HDT and LomboDot in turn, as he injured his knee and cannot climb.

LomboDot: Why are you lowering me so slowly?

HMB: You're too light!

LomboDot: Oh, okay!

HDT: Why are you lowering me so quickly?

HMB: You're too heavy!

HDT: ... Hey!

Tell you about a 'nightmare' I had once when I was little. One of my earliest memories, and probably didn't forget it because at the time it was terrifying for me.

I woke up one night the door partly cracked open. (I'm somewhere around 3-5 years old). My sister's crib is off to my right and the door in between us. I look to the left away from the door at the end of my bed and six eyes open up. 3 sets of two, small short figures. If you know what the pokemon Gengar looks like they were similiar to that except i could only see outlines and their eyes. They crawled up the bed and I was unable to move from fear. They decided to push me off the bed by rolling me out and I fell out of bed un able to catch myself and for a moment I couldn't scream. (probably one of the worst feelings xD)

Then I managed to choke out a yell and my mom and dad come rushing in turningon the light and I look at the bed and nothings there. They obviously pass this off as a nightmare but I've always thought it was weird that I was....

"Awake" the whole time. There was no lapse in my memory of being awake and being rolled off the bed. Hitting the floor and calling out.

Now looking at this while older I realized I probably had a very rare episode of sleep paralysis, stuck between a state of awake and asleep so dreams projected into the real world....

But if that is so.... how did I roll off the bed being completely frozen in place on my back..... also why did my arm from what I can remember hurt on the side that i didn't fall on like someone had shoved me hard.... So yeah. Probably nothing but perplexing when I try and think about it.

I took a week off between switching jobs to hang out with my brother HDT.

At one point, I decided to cook a special soup which was a family recipe. Our mother, SmallMom, usually added some dried squid to the soup for sweetness.

I decided to buy a live squid at the supermarket and take it home and kill it, clean it, and cook it.

The purchase, transportation, and slaughter of the foodstuff went without incident. However, as I was cleaning it, I put too much pressure in the wrong place and managed to get ink all over the wall, the sink, the countertop, the stovetop, and myself.

...

I consider this to be a form of revenge. From that which can eternal lie.

HuManBing wrote:I consider this to be a form of revenge. From that which can eternal lie.

And with stranger aeons pass even death may die.

Breaking Bad ends in 45 minutes. Forever. If this doesn't prompt a madness check....

Let's just say if I fail to post after tonight and a crazed person was found somewhere in the Midwestern United States, know I will treasure our times together.

Wish me luck.

We are doing just fine, so far...

From I's to we's..... hmmmmm

Are you trying to tell us something? I'm ok, but the other guy seems twitchy.

So this should have been a sign of things to come...

Years ago (my mid teen years), I lived at home and spent the majority of time in my folks basement (lovingly called the Warroom). My mother hated when I prepared food down there as they would never see me otherwise (if I had a toilet, they would have been able to declare me legally dead). So I had really recently made sandwiches and I had gone upstairs to see how much time there was before dinner. It was a few minutes away from being done and my mom is searching the fridge. I see various condiments on the table, knew we're having hamburgers/hot dogs, etc and realized that she is looking for the mustard. The mustard in the spare fridge in the basement (and they wondered how they never saw me). Without a word, I scramble back down stairs, grab the mustard, and bring it back up and place it on the table. Pretty sure she never even realized I had left the area as I ask, "What are you doing?"

She turns and says, "I'm looking for the mustard."

I look at the table and (so innocently pull off), "This?"

Now here is where I feel bad as she looks at me, then the mustard and the thought that she is losing her mind. She never realized I was the one gas lighting her, but to be fair I am fairly certain she does not even remember the instance occurring way back when. Guess I began mental manipulation pretty early, and the wife wonders about me *sometimes*.

When I first started dating LomboDot, I was worried how she might react to my cross dressing.

Four months in, and now my biggest problem is running out of make up because she's using it all. :/

Coincidentally, Halloween is around the corner...

HuManBing wrote:When I first started dating LomboDot, I was worried how she might react to my cross dressing.

Four months in, and now my biggest problem is running out of make up because she's using it all. :/

Isn't that how it always is? The ladies go into a guy's stuff like a big sign says, "TAKE ALL YOU WANT!" Yet a guy won't touch a woman's things. I remember asking an ex where my car keys were and she said, "In my purse." O.o I think I found Jimmy Hoffa in that thing after what felt like hours of searching, yet she reaches in without looking and finds them in two seconds!

And don't just borrow my clothes! I was saving the bustier, spandex, and wig for a Twisted Sister reunion concert! I had to go dressed like a guy!!

So I am kneeling at the alter with my soon to be wife, and my back begins to bother me (scoliosis since I was a teenager). She looks over at me and seems concerned (as anyone who could see the groom "squirming"). I stop to not worry those watching. She mouths, "Are you OK?"

I mouth back, "My back is stiff."

She begins to laugh and is trying to contain her laughter. It passes. We are married. We are in the limo and I comment about her apparent nervousness. She said that she wasn't nervous, but I bring up my random comment that broke whatever tension she may have had. That's the problem, she didn't *hear* what I said at the alter.

I said my back is stiff. She hears, "My pants are stiff."

While I was happy to get married, I was not quite as *excited* as she may have been led to believe.

xD wow. xD

Well at least it eased the tension.... xD

Dark Angel wrote:my back begins to bother me (scoliosis since I was a teenager)

Oh, that's not good. But at least it happened when it was still treatable.

Would it be irreverent to bring up the "poliosis" joke from Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special?

High Priest Mikhal wrote:

Dark Angel wrote:my back begins to bother me (scoliosis since I was a teenager)

Oh, that's not good. But at least it happened when it was still treatable.

Would it be irreverent to bring up the "poliosis" joke from Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special?

That depends...

How many here know he is a ventriloquist (though creepy dolls have made for interesting topics on this site).