Café de Nuit

Granted, all your heroes are alive today but they just don't know you and don't have any intentiuon to do it.

I wish Superman exists.

VAN wrote:I wish Superman exists.

Granted! He was born in Russia and ushers in a new age of Communism!

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superman:_Red_Son)

Horribly mis-worded my last wish.

I wish I could shoot heat beams from my eyes, at will, and not have to worry about them bouncing back and hitting me.

Granted, they fire out of the backs of your eyes, constantly cooking your brain whenever you use your "special talent".

I wish I was 20 again, retaining all the skills and memories I have accumulated since I was that age (and all those I had obtained up until that point).

Granted. You are now a 20-month-old baby. Cootchie-cootchie-coo!


I wish 'Mickey Bricks' hadn't left the cast of Hustle.

Granted! He stays, everyone else leaves.

I wish there was no delivery charge for pizza so I didn't have to go pick it up to save a couple bucks.

Granted! The government creates a law that prevents pizza deliverers to charge for their services.

Obviously, the pizza deliverers are not happy with the decision, and those of them who don't look for another job, go on riots in the streets. Now you don't only have to go and pick up your own pizza (As there aren't any pizza deliverers left), you also face the crowd of unemployed former pizza deliverers who won't let you go home with your pizza unharmed.

I wish all news about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears were banned on all the media on Earth.

Granted.

All news about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears is now projected on the face of the moon in scrolling mauve script visible even during the day.

I wish the Lord of the Rings had never been made into a movie or three to be exact.

Granted- now it's a FOX TV series, with Paris Hilton as Galadriel.

I wish I knew what the hell I was doing....

Granted. At this moment, you are breathing, pumping blood , processing nutrients and wastes, experiencing brain-wave activity and maintaining a stable internal environment. (Unless, of course, you're not, in which case you're decomposing instead. )



I wish I'd finished the Life Cycle chapter of the VRF:D an hour ago (i.e. before my favorite sports-bar closed down the kitchen), so I could go celebrate with a nice juicy steakburger and sweet potato fries.

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:I wish I'd finished the Life Cycle chapter of the VRF:D an hour ago (i.e. before my favorite sports-bar closed down the kitchen), so I could go celebrate with a nice juicy steakburger and sweet potato fries.

Granted! Unfortunately, a doppelganger is offended that you finished so quickly, and ruins your reputation at the bar to get you banned.

I wish I could never go to Thailand or Korea ever again, but not be prevented from going anywhere other than those two countries.

Granted.

Sadly, every other country on Earth has been nuked in glowing radioactive slag.


I wish I could eat radioactive slag with no ill effects.....

Granted, but now you cannot eat anything else.

I wish my throat stops aching.

Granted, I just cut off your head. Now it's not aching.

I wish I had a shotgun.

Granted! I rip it off your body...
...Ooops! It seems I also pulled other internal organs off your body. Well, you will die in a few seconds, but at least you won't feel your throat at all.

OR

Granted! I give you a massive dose of morphine to stop the pain. You become addicted and die of an overdose.

OR

Granted! I shoot you in a leg... Your brain can't process two pains at the same time.

I wish I could control my PC with my mind, so I could type faster and make real progress with all the projects I have.

HuManBing wrote:I wish I had a shotgun.

Granted! Unfortunately, your hand gets amputated and you have a chainsaw grafted to your arm. And then you get constantly attacked by demons and zombies.

WolfKook wrote:I wish I could control my PC with my mind, so I could type faster and make real progress with all the projects I have.

Granted! You can no longer control your body.

I wish I had a working Playstation 2.