Café de Nuit

Granted, but of course you are transformed in cat and you start at the lower level of the Cat Mafia.

I wish I can be the Cat Mafia's boss and keep have my own body and mentality.

Granted, but seeing a human in charge makes them plan an audacious coup, and you end up in the gutter, covered in fishheads.

I wish I was the boss of the Cat Mafia, in a cat form with cat manerisms but with my own personality, intelect and memories.

Moral Machivelli wrote:Granted, but seeing a human in charge makes them plan an audacious coup, and you end up in the gutter, covered in fishheads.

I wish I was the boss of the Cat Mafia, in a cat form with cat manerisms but with my own personality, intelect and memories.

Granted! Unfortunately, you're killed in a gang war with the Cat Yakuza.

I wish those cats outside would be quiet.

Granted, they are now quietly planning the demise of you and your family ... you will never hear them coming.

I wish I could actually sleep as often and as long as I want.

Granted! You are arrested and thrown into an oubliette for solitary confinement. Since no one places any demands on your time (or indeed, takes any notice of you at all other than to occasionally toss food into your pit), you may set your sleeping schedule as you wish!

I wish that the Yankees do not make the playoffs this year.

Granted, they loose all their points and they fell category.

I wish I knew something about american football!

VAN wrote:I wish I knew something about american football!

Granted!

You forget about the existence of soccer/football and are confused every time you see a soccer ball. You end up offending a South American soccer fan who promptly kills you.

I wish I could find the big rock candy mountain.

Spiteful Crow wrote:

VAN wrote:I wish I knew something about american football!

Granted!

You forget about the existence of soccer/football and are confused every time you see a soccer ball. You end up offending a South American soccer fan who promptly kills you.

I wish I could find the big rock candy mountain.

Granted! But when you go into the cave, you are knocked unconscious, only to wake up and find your kidney has been stolen.

I wish Eurovision at least held enough entertainment to justify pushing Doctor Who and Casualty back a week, instead of being dull and boring.

Granted, Eurovision is now held each and every saturday, delaying Casualty and Doctor Who forevermore... or until you're happy with the overall show. (Though I thought the Bulgarian and Finnish entrants were good, Apocolyptica were also great!).

I wish I had a Million British Pounds appear in my bank account, with no ill side effects or repurcussions of its sudden, unexpected appearance.

Granted: 6666.67 British corpses weighing just over 10 stone each are now in your bank account. Because they came from Sellafield, nobody is particularly interested in challenging your right to claim them.

Wish: I wish my best friend wasn't moving in with his girlfriend, so that we'd get more D&D time together.

Granted! He convinces her to move in with the two of you instead, and to make up for lost time with him, she joins the D&D game, where she proves to be completely uninterested in roleplaying and instead spends the entire time either making out with him or complaining about your nerdiness.

I wish Zlad would make more music.

Granted! It (they?) release a cover album of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's greatest hits, then announce that they (he?) are so enthralled by the experience that it's all they'll do forevermore.

I wish...come to think of it, I wish I knew who or what Zlad was...

Sylaire wrote:Granted! It (they?) release a cover album of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's greatest hits, then announce that they (he?) are so enthralled by the experience that it's all they'll do forevermore.

I wish...come to think of it, I wish I knew who or what Zlad was...

Granted. You find out who Zlad is and are so bitterly disappointed, you become a neo-luddite and take vows of chastity, silence and temperence.

I wish that 2nd Ed would make sense to me again...

Granted! Now you understand exactly why each ability score only goes up to 25, and why of all of them, only Strength has a percentile factor for the "18" value, and why the bonuses that come with them are completely arbitrary!

Additionally, you know why the bonuses/penalties for using Non weapon proficiencies are so variable (including some that give you a +2 and as low as a -5 to some checks).

Furthermore, you understand why all monsters have d8s for hit dice.

It all makes sense to you. Unfortunately, in order for this to happen, we've been forced to render you a gibbering lunatic mentally incapable of understanding anything else while cowering in the corner of your padded Gundarakan asylum. Don't fight it, dear, the Doctor will be along soon...



I wish the Supreme Court of the United States would come to a clear ruling either way on the interpretation of the Second Amendment - the right to bear arms - instead of dancing around the issue like they've done for the past 70 years.

Granted! Now all Americans must have the arms of bears surgically grafted onto their bodies at birth! Huzzah for misreading!

I wish that people didn't take Pink Floyd so seriously.