Café de Nuit

Granted! But it's the crappy Babelfish translation that you could have done yourself.

Isabella wrote:It is given! Now they everyone speaks poor Russian. No one can understand their, mass hysteria occurs, and the international breaches of savings downward. I desire alhoon it did not make the desire, because 4 I cannot have a talk the Russian

Van granted my wish for me!

I wish I knew where that random four came from, because I didn't put it there.

Granted, after 18 hours thinking on the row, you finally get your answer and a terrible headache!

I wish the dentist not make me hurt very much today.

"Blessed are those who speak to those who cannot respond, for they are called Dentists!"

VAN wrote:I wish the dentist not make me hurt very much today.

Granted! The dentist accidentaly kills you clean and painlessly instead.

I wish to instantly learn how to speak, understand, and read Japanese, Korean, Thai, and French and not forget it.

Granted! And with luck the cab driver speaks one of those languages, because you've completely forgotten English.

I wish I could stay awake 24 hours each day with no deleterious physical or mental effects (mental effects like using the word "deleterious"...or possibly thinking that it is a word, which I'm suddenly not convinced that it is...)

[Scene opens at a post office, at night. Man steps out from the side, wearing a suit, holding a cigarette and completely in black and white]

Sleep. To some, it is mankind’s only natural state of happiness. It divides our time on earth, like so many tourist traps on the highway of life. Yet to some it is less enjoyable – even an inconvenience.

[Sylaire:] “Wow, I’m finally free of sleep! No more cat naps, no more lazy Sundays, no more sweet dreams… um, wait a minute….
[Sylaire’s boss:] “What's this then? No more sleep? No deleterious effects? Capital, what what? Of course, without all this sleeping nonsense, we’ll naturally expect you to work through the night, doing whatever it is you do, here at whatever business it is at which we work. Of course, we won’t pay you any extra. Can’t have that now, can we? Just isn’t done, don’t you know.”
[Sylaire:] “Nooooo! I wish I could wake up from this nightmare!”
[Sylaire’s boss:] “Not only that, (grabs Sylaire’s face and pulls) but you’re a robot, old chap. What, what? Cheerio and jolly good.”

Submitted for your approval, Sylaire, a sleeper who has woken up, for the last time… in the twilight zone.

I wish my Dad would finally get around to doing our taxes instead of just procrastinating about it.

Granted, but he forgets to carry the "1". Enjoy your audit!

I wish for a new hat.

Reginald de Curry wrote:Granted, but he forgets to carry the "1". Enjoy your audit!

I wish for a new hat.

Granted. You get the crown of England. The Queen isn't happy and has you executed for Treason (apparently, she can still do that...)

I wish that flumphs where official again...

Granted, all D&D creatures are now flumphs, earning you the undying hatred of the entire D&D community.

I wish I had a bionic knee to replace my knackered one

Granted. Have one bionic knee. Heck, have a whole leg to go with it, still attached to the entire angry cyborg who isn't happy that you want to steal his body parts for your chopdoc to inplant in yourself. Good luck with that, chummer.

(heh, Shadowrun flashbacks)

I wish that the hit count on my fanfiction would triple with unique readers who like the story.

Sylaire wrote: I wish that the hit count on my fanfiction would triple with unique readers who like the story.

Granted,
A flood of unique readers come to your site, but they all say you stole thier great ideas and stories. Thirteen which happen to be hollywoood Producers who are all suing you for everything you own, and they have the courts paid off so the cases will tilt in thier favor.

I wish I was an attractive, beautiful woman in her 20's, who is alive and in perfect health.

midnightcat wrote:I wish I was an attractive, beautiful woman in her 20's, who is alive and in perfect health.

Granted! The Sultan adds you to his harem.

I wish all bugs that come within 3 feet of me would die instantly.

Granted, a giant 50ft wasp swoops down at you, died and squashes you dead.

I wish I could get away with murder.

Granted. You successfully kill your intended victim, but they take you down with them. Being dead, you are never formally prosecuted for your crime.



I wish students wouldn't bug me about their grades now, when it's already too late for me to help them.

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:I wish students wouldn't bug me about their grades now, when it's already too late for me to help them.

Granted! Finals are delayed and another two months are added to the current semester. You have plenty of time to help them now.

I wish money grew on trees. Specifically, the ones in my backyard.

Spiteful Crow wrote:

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:I wish students wouldn't bug me about their grades now, when it's already too late for me to help them.

Granted! Finals are delayed and another two months are added to the current semester. You have plenty of time to help them now.

I wish money grew on trees. Specifically, the ones in my backyard.

Granted,
The money growing on your trees in the backyard is Monopoly money.

I wish I was Buffy the vampire slayer. So I am stronger then anyone, and can escape any Herem with ease.