Café de Nuit

Sodo: I've joined the RL republican party, from now on I only heal those who can already afford it.

Dear Azalin Rex, what is the difference between ketchup and catsup?

Scarycount wrote:Dear Azalin Rex, what is the difference between ketchup and catsup?

Azalin: "You fool! Don't you see it?! The difference between ketchup and catsup is just a cruel trick played upon us by our captors! They try and befuddle the mind with their dual labels of ketchup and catsup when, in fact, they are the same thing! It's the same trick they use with ham and Canadian bacon!"

Dear Diamabel, is it okay if I worship the Ezra instead? I hear she doesn't smite her followers quite as much, and doesn't require as much whipping.

No, you fool! I'm Better Than Ezra!

Dear Harkon Lukas, why don't I have a better singing voice?

Well, I'm sure the fact that I've just slashed out your throat doesn't help matters...

Dear Ebonbane,

I'm cooking a dinner for 12 tonight, and I simply haven't got time to chop all of these vegetables. Would you mind lending a hand?

I'm sorry, but my contract to the Dark Powers only requires me to chop mortal human flesh for dinner parties.. Though I'd be more than happy to remove your head from your shoulders...

Dear Lemot Sediam Juste,
I'm having some trouble getting tickets for your next play, could you help me out here?

Sure thing, I'll let you play yourself too, but I don't guarantee the final act.

Dear Ankepot, Haven't you heard about bells? Gongs are so out of fashion!

"Oy, you kids and your heavy metal music. In my day we sat and listened to gongs for hours and we enjoyed it. Not like you kids with your bang-ching-bing in different notes and everything.

"Nurse... I wet my self again..."

Dear Ivana Boritisi, who's the better kisser, you or Poison Ivy?

Ivana: I never found out, dead men can't tell the difference.

Dear Tristen ApBlanc, Burger King or McDonalds?

Tristen Aplanc: Wendy's
WHEEEERRRE'S THE BEEF!!!

Dear Frantisec Markov: HOW STUPID CAN YA GET?!! WHADJA DO WITH THE BABY ORANGUTANGUTINGTING?!!!

Markov: Orangutan? What oranguta- oh, that ol' thing? It used to be a golden retriever.



Dear Arijani,

With all those illusions you use, how much is your annual special-effects budget?

Mah, not as much as you think my dear, Spiderman 3 has beat me and not start talking about Pirates of Caraibean!

Dear Anton Misroi,

What do you think about the new owners of Maison De Soulombre?

"While they can at least pay the rent, I'm suspicious that rather than providing new dead for zombie fodder they'll all turn to lichdom like that van Rijn fellow did."

Dear Alfred Timothy: Our firm has been looking into new venues for flea-collar distribution centers. Do you think there's a market in Verbrek?

Alfred: Foolish HUMAN!!!! We have the might of the wolf god to protect us from fleas! We Don't need the same collars you shackle the traitors known as dogs with!

Dear sheiriff von zarovich, how to you respond to the allegations that you are one of the most poorly concieved RL characters ever?

Scarycount wrote:Dear sheiriff von zarovich, how to you respond to the allegations that you are one of the most poorly concieved RL characters ever?

Sheriff: * sniffle * "I JUST WANTED TO BE COOL! WAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Dear Arijani, would you like some catnip?

Spiteful Crow wrote:Dear Arijani, would you like some catnip?

You dare to insult me?
Here's some gold, why don't you buy yourself some dignity? And while you're at it, why don't you take your horrible catnip, about an 8-ball of it, and throw it in the trash!, specifically, the trash bin right outside the palace.

Blue Beard, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Terror-pop?