Café de Nuit

Wish granted. You now have copies of all of the FoS netbooks ... including all the godawful sucky ones we'd nixed before they could be inflicted on an unsuspecting world.

I wish grading exams wasn't so depressing.

Granted, all your students are smarter than you and you can barely understant their essays.

I wish travel agents were smarter...

Granted! Now instead of messing up your vacations and business trips through idiocy, they'll use their superior intellect to actively ruin your every experience.

I wish I could find all the out of print manga volumes I'm looking for.

Rotipher of the FoS wrote:Wish granted. You now have copies of all of the FoS netbooks ... including all the godawful sucky ones we'd nixed before they could be inflicted on an unsuspecting world.

What?! Van Richten's Guide to Sith Lords?!

Sylaire wrote:I wish I could find all the out of print manga volumes I'm looking for.

Granted! You have them all...

on your computer! The FBI comes by and arrests you for piracy.

I wish Azalin would go home already.

Granted, he escaped for good during the Grand Conjuction and took the whole demiplane apart, meaning the official end of the setting many years ago.

I wish I could once and once only travel forward in time by exactly 4 days in the blink of an eye.

[Steps out from the side, wearing a suit, holding a cigarette and completely in black and white]

Submitted for your approval, one Wiccy of the Fraternity. He is a man preparing for a journey; a journey into the future.

[Wiccy:] Wow, four days into the future. Everything is so advanced! Robots walk the streets and D&D is now at 10th edition! But where is everyone?
[Robot:] Hello, human. The sun is going supernova tonight. Everyone evacuated the Earth and left for the new colonies. That was like three days ago.
[Glasses fall off of Wiccy's face]
[Wiccy:] No! Its not fair! There was time, now. The was time!
[Robot:] Not only that, but now your Hitler!

Submitted for your approval, one Wiccy of the Fraternity. A man at the end of a journey. Little did he suspect that his voyage would take him on a detour... through the twilight zone.

I wish global warming would stop.

ScS of the Fraternity wrote:I wish global warming would stop.

Granted! The Earth literally bursts into flames. It can't get any warmer than that.

I wish I had TMNT on DVD.

Granted, but it breaks. Man that sucked.

I wish Russia's overcrowded prison system wasn't giving rise to a drug resistant form of teburculosis (spelling?)

Granted! All the imprisoned people are let loose, triggering an anarchic uprising of epic proportions which devolves rapidly into genuine civil war, during which fanatics let loose the former U.S.S.R.'s stock of nuclear weapons, consuming the human race. Tuberculosis is no longer a problem!

I wish drunk college students would stop leaving broken beer bottles in the park where I walk my parents' dog while dogsitting.

Granted. They now leave broken crack pipes in the park instead, saving their beer bottles to shatter on your parents' driveway.

I wish there was something worth watching on TV right now.

Granted! A serial killer murders you in your own home, and the shocking news story of your murder is shown on TV.

Oh, wait. That's STILL not anything new.

I wish there was a Living Ravenloft campaign.

Granted, but you stop playing for a while and when you get back you find that someone killed, and Homer Simpson is the new darklord of Barovia.

I wish 300 had been more historically accurate.

Granted. The movie is now roughly three days long, having been filmed in real time, and you aren't allowed to leave the theater to eat or use the restroom during the third day's footage because the Spartans themselves couldn't leave the pass they were guarding.

I wish that spammers had never discovered the FoS forums.

Granted, not wasting time on FOS they figure out how to hack your student's grades instead.

I wish it was June as opposed to April.

Scarycount wrote:I wish it was June as opposed to April.

Granted! April from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles gets a name change.

I wish MySpace would stop being so buggy.