Café de Nuit

Granted. You just won the 2000 United States Presidential Election! Congrats. Now grab a pen, there is an incoming message from God as to fire, brimstone and the liberation (as well as subsequent privatization) of enemy cave complexes.

I wish that Vlad would give peace a chance.

Granted... Vlad gives peace a serious and heart felt chance, planning and self cleansing his organization inside and out. Slowly the change is noticed and the new influx of citizens is very encouraging. Slavery is abolished and advancement for benefit of the country comes to pass as technology increases steadily. The other countries of the Core first accept this as a good sign and the support while as good as some might suspect is there but slight as the other darklords are suspicious and begin to try and head off the damage done...
However they are soon aware of a more subversive danger as their efforts soon begin driving their citizens to the reformed country in droves. The economy of the other nations, and necessary industry start to falter. Ghost towns not populated even by the ethereal beings are found everywhere. Inner strife and conflict destroy the foundations as everyone deserts the other stifling countries.
War breaks out as the depleted nations attempt to crush the swollen ranks of the Falkovnian war machine...
When the dust settles Drakov now rules the Majority of the core, and now can slowly reinstate all his old doctrines. And to think it only took that sudden inspiration that came to him from some corner of his mind.

I wish that every wish granted in this post came with the sane and normal delivery of a cellophane wrapped, perfectly safe and utterly harmless, non spoiled, highly nutritious, and normal sized sandwich, that is of the exact composition that I or the wish granter would prefer to safely ingest and enjoy, without any magical compulsion or curse of any kind attached to it, and free of any sort of fees or charges...

Granted! the sandwich is perfect, in fact it is so delicious you cannot stop thinking about how good it was and all you want to do is eat another, you start asking for more and more wishes that become twisted so you can taste a sandwich like that again and in so doing the world revolves into total chaos...

I wish I do well in my upcoming kickboxing tournament!

Granted! Every time you kick a cardboard box, your triumphant victory will be all but assured!

I wish I could remember where I put my shotgun.

Granted. You are awaken by a jarring thud dealt to your head by the stock of your shotgun and by the time you collect your wit you find yourself looking up its double barrels to the psychotic girlfriend who you inconsideredly dumped last week.

I wish that people who want real healthcare reform would adopt the vision articulated by Cthulhu and, while they are at it, stop electing lesser evils to the presidency.

Granted! The entire population of the United States is driven mad by exposure to things they are not meant to know, and as one, check themselves into mental institutions, where they receive full medical care.

I wish to have more wishes.

You are granted a Wishing Imp. Enjoy.

I wish that Dungeons and Dragons had been instead named Hags and Halflings.

Granted: Dungeons and Dragons while common thematic elements take a back seat to the titles main themes of Hags and Halflings. This underground game is enjoyed thoroughly and eventually takes a stab at a more prominent role in pop culture. Unfortunately besides always referring to players as she's it gets little attention from the men, older female wiccans, and people of reduced stature as every adventure seems to reinforce the negatives of the feminine monsters and the devious short people. Eventually in efforts to please everyone the product is PC streamlined to remove these overreactions from the public eye. Play testing goes well, but shortly before this new version can be released several older women begin sacrificing anyone below four foot tall, in an effort to draw as they claim on other worldly forces. This drags the company responsible for this dark product into years of litigation and soon bankrupts it beyond repair. As a consequence H&H slowly disappears into the annals of the forgotten failures of history and white wolf dominates the market. Vampires become more of an obsession and goths parade the planet. In the future radical genetic engineering causes the world to become nothing but blood sucking fiends that sparkle in the sunlight. Earth is renamed Twilight, and the last of the humans submit or commit suicide due to not be able to take in the overload of melodrama and angst. The world ends in this fashion leaving nothing but fashionable skeletons with pointed teeth, as the vampires find their genetics corrupted from such over manipulation. When aliens arrive they discover amongst the wreckage one book of entertaining interest... A preserved copy of Hags and Halflings...

I wish that some power above or below or both would pick a soundtrack for my life!

Granted, you now have the Benny Hill theme song playing wherever you go.

I wish upon a falling star.

Your wish is granted. And as it comes true the rock slams into the Earth leaving not so much as a trace of you in existence.

I wish for a Faternity Gazatteer that explores the Musarde River and its tributaries.

"I wish for a Faternity Gazatteer that explores the Musarde River and its tributaries."

Granted. Unfortunately, the wish granters are sticklers for the exact wording of a wish, including typos. Ergo, while a GAZETTEER on the Musarde might be useful, a GAZATTEER is far less so. Specfically, a Gazatteer is a mile long undulating river monster which combines the worst traits of a serpent, worm, crab, octopus, and shark. It swallows you whole, and then begins its exploration of the Musarde and its tributaries, terrorizing the populations up and down the river for all time. With the horror you've unleashed on the world, one wonders how you would be able to live with yourself. Fortunately, as it has swallowed you, you'll never have to find out.

As to my wish- I wish Maligno's nose would grow every time he lied.

Granted! He lies repeatedly to your face, and his nose stabs you in the eye.

I wish nobody would ever steal my parking space.

JinnTolser wrote:Granted! He lies repeatedly to your face, and his nose stabs you in the eye.

I wish nobody would ever steal my parking space.

Granted. Someone plants an incendiary device on your parking space and blows it to bits.

I wish for Strahd to finally have Tatyana for his own and turn her into a vampire to be his bride for all time.

Granted. You wake up and things don't feel right. You have long raven hair. You're wearing a simple peasant girl's clothing. And there's somebody at the window looking at you, intently. Today is going to be the happiest day of your life!

I wish I'd actually gotten some work done today.

HuManBing wrote:I wish I'd actually gotten some work done today.

Granted. A malevolent invisible servant finishes your workload and trashes your work space.

I wish that Necropolis was an Island of Teroror.