Café de Nuit

Granted! You are now the object of disection by other gamers. They are shocked and loose their minds when they find out that you, are filled by triple-injected cats, dogfish sharks, and plain ol' earthworms.

..sadly they cannot tell anyone about their find, since they got eaten by the sharks, digested by the worms and buried by the cats...


I wish I found a Worm-Hole in my bedroom, jumped into it and traveled through space and time just to find out we are alone in this universe, I mean, in this prime material plane..

Granted! You travel through space and time to all the worlds of the universe, verifying that we are, indeed alone. If your observations are true or you just happened to not see any other alien creature in the few moments you spent in each planet won't bother you as the last planet you checked and was stranded to, has a Hydro-Cyanide atmosphere.

I wish that Rotipher would resume her place in the cell dissecting other gamers.

Granted! But you are the next subject for dissection. Please be considerate and don't eat anything beforehand that would look gross when your digestive tract is opened.

I wish Stephen Colbert really was running for President.

Granted! Unfortunately, it turns out that everything else he lampoons in his classic deadpan fashion also are suddenly his real beliefs as well, and thus we now have a candidate whom Rush Limbaugh lambasts as being too conservative for him to tolerate.

I wish that the 1977 BBC version of "Count Dracula" (Louis Jourdan, Frank Finlay) would finally be released on DVD. Oh, wait...it has been!

(and for the twist...five minutes of unskippable frontloaded ads...)

Since that one's been granted already, I wish that I don't rack myself up doing the happy dance about the release.

Granted! You are now unable to dance. This is a terrible curse, as it...

...as you can't dance...

...wait a second. This is a wonderful curse! All of creation sighs in relief as we know we'll never be subjected to the sight of you dancing again!

(Sorry, it's not personal!)

I wish for a +2 to my next attack roll.

Granted! Unfortunately you have chosen to attack Cthulhu himself, therefore whatever you roll is insignificant and he will be using you for dental floss to get rid of the bits of me from between his teeth, whilst doing a series of hilarious impersonations from South Park...

I wish this weekend would last till next friday....

lostboy wrote:I wish this weekend would last till next friday....

Granted. You are branded (literally) "terrorist suspect number one," water-boarded until you confess to crimes ranging from contemplating the destruction of the universe to speaking ill of the industrial arms complex, and sentenced to be drawn and quartered at the foot of the Washington Monument next Friday. In celebration of this joyous event, however, the entire work week has been declared a national holiday. Still the people must forfeit next weekend to make up for the lost labour.

I wish the Kargat had opened a cabaret rather than a book store in Barovia.

Granted the Kargat now has opened a Cabaret like Mulin Rouse (SP). As you have had the idea you are inveted at the opening. The Cabaret is empty though and the show very boring. Blaming you for that a vampire gets you and force you sing and dance till you are exausted, Then it turns you in vampire.

I wish I could sleep more in the morning and still have time to do all the things I have to.

VAN wrote:I wish I could sleep more in the morning and still have time to do all the things I have to.

Granted. The Apparatus casts your soul asunder and you now exist as a sleep stricken individual who wishes ill to no one and an obsessed misanthrope who delights in dedicating his every last moment to the wrecking of ever greater pain and suffering upon humanity.

I wish I had King of the Dead and Lord of Necropolis.

Granted, you have a copy of each one. The initials "F.Z'h." are inscribed on the inner cover, which means it will be only a matter of time before the original owner finds out where they went and who was responsible for their disappearance.

I hope you weren't a procrastinator, because you're about to run out of tomorrows...

I wish I had a fun, cool, and reasonably profitable law job lined up for the summer, and that I can enjoy it and do good work for the community through it.

Granted! You get the very last copy of either in the world... unfortunately, the asking price on ebay is so high that you have to sell every other possession you own, and even after that max all your credit cards and take out a huge loan. You spend the rest of your life digging yourself out of debt, but you do enjoy owning those two books.

I wish I could always get a good night's sleep, no matter how much or how little time I have to sleep, and still get up on time in the morning.

Granted, you manage to get good night sleep and get up in time, but you are tired and unable to do your job effectively. So in a few days you get fired. Except of that you end up talking to yourself since no one wants to talk to you, because you are nervous and you get mad with everyone and evertything.

I wish a certain friend of mine realize that not everyone is so rich as she.

HuManBing wrote:Granted, you have a copy of each one. The initials "F.Z'h." are inscribed on the inner cover, which means it will be only a matter of time before the original owner finds out where they went and who was responsible for their disappearance.

I hope you weren't a procrastinator, because you're about to run out of tomorrows...

I wish I had a fun, cool, and reasonably profitable law job lined up for the summer, and that I can enjoy it and do good work for the community through it.

JinnTolser, I have ninja'd you!

I guess we must have hit the submit button at the same time.

VAN wrote: I wish a certain friend of mine realize that not everyone is so rich as she.

HuManBing wrote: I wish I had a fun, cool, and reasonably profitable law job lined up for the summer, and that I can enjoy it and do good work for the community through it.

Combining these two wishes together in a destructive union that sends ripples thrughout the ethereal plane, poisoning all your fates.

GRA-GRANTED! HMB finds that law job as legal manager of Van's friend in Alaska (you said "cool" right?) and Van's friend realizes that everyone is richer than her since she meets him working in the summer, being happy without having as much money as she has. However the Cosmos conspires just then and with a tremendous bang their bodies merge in a painful, horrific looking amalgam. Van is drawn in the amalgam as well for some reason.

I wish I had VAN's friend riches without her snob disposition or being forced in the amalgam she occupies.

HuManBing wrote: JinnTolser, I have ninja'd you!

I guess we must have hit the submit button at the same time.

D'oh!

alhoon wrote:I wish I had VAN's friend riches without her snob disposition or being forced in the amalgam she occupies.

Granted! VAN's friend wills you her all her bank accounts, stocks, property, and all other real wealth, just a few days before disappearing mysteriously. The police begin investigating you in that disappearance, but before they can determine whether it's your fault, a crazed relative chops you up with a meat cleaver.

But since you were such a nice guy, and not a snob at all, you left everything to charity.


I wish people would stop believing in phony TV psychics and mediums.