Café de Nuit

Hazlik: Your eternal soul--for my experiments, of course.

Question for Lord Soth: How can your armor always looks so shiny, when it's supposed to be charred by holy flames?

Soth: One word, Windex.

Dear Wilfred Godefroy, why not start a factory in that house of yours? You could make a lot of money since you wouldn't have to pay the enslaved ghosts.

Godefroy: "I have thought about it, but I have to solve some domestic trouble. You know how wives can be at home, don't you?"

Dear Gabby, how do you feel about children rights?

Gabby: I believe women have the right to abortion until the child is 25 years old!

Meredoth, would you like to buy these lovely windchimes I'm selling door to door?

Spiteful Crow wrote: Meredoth, would you like to buy these lovely windchimes I'm selling door to door?

"Die!"

FINGER OF DEATH

So, Harkon, where do you get the inspiration for your lyrics?

"Oh, I always draw my inspiration from life. The true artist always strives to experience first-hand the emotions of which he writes. By the way, I'm writing a new song about the experiences of a human traveler lost in the wolf-haunted woods...do make certain to put plenty of feeling into your screams, would you?"

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Dear Ivana:

Exactly how do you manage to survive all the Dark Powers' Food Safety Administration inspections?

Ivana: The food is deadly, but the kitchen and staff are squeaky clean.

Dear Alfred Timothy, how would a non-werewolf go about getting in da club?

Alfred: Through the kitchen entrance, friend! Bringing barbecue sauce along when you apply for membership will, of course, greatly aid your chance of acceptance.




Dear Gentleman Caller,

Have you, er... been tested recently? I mean, you do get around, and immunity to poison's not the same thing...

Gentleman Caller: Well, now you know why I decided S wasn't my type. When you make a habit out of seducing women, you have to choose your targets carefully.

Dear Madame Eva, if a tree falls and noone is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Madame Eva: Yes, it will.

Dear Hags of Tepest, how do each of you deal with having to share rulership rather than having all the power to yourself?

Hags: Sharing rulership is not that important, we have much more power when we are together plus we know exactly how the other is feeling. We all hate you right now!

Dear Malken, what do you believe about roommates? Should they share everything?

Malken: I must admit my roommate is annoying, but if I get rid of him I'll be stuck with one of those bratty sons of his, and that would be even worse.

Dear Vlad Drakov, Chocolate or Vanilla?

Drakov: "Only vanilla, for it is pure and white!"

(Did I take that too far?)

Dear Tsien, is your daughter free next Friday night?

Tsien Chiang: No, my girls are off taking part in a political protest march, against blatant racial stereotyping in Ravenloft products.




Dear Victor Mordenheim,

Any chance you could help me grade these &%*$# anatomy & physiology term papers?

Mordenheim: Of course my friend, these are the sciences I know best, only with psycology I have had problems.

Dear Sodo,

I need to know your prices, how much do you charge heal and how much resurect?