I've been playing D&D too long.
Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 12:36 am
The other night I woke up at 3 AM with the following song in my head. I just wrote it down; I swear my conscious mind is not responsible for it.
Dwarves think of themselves as brewers,
Trust the dwarves to get it wrong;
Dwarvish ale is thick and bitter,
Dwarvish whisky far too strong.
Gnomish beer is rich and wholesome,
Gnomish beer is brewed just right,
Flavorful and easy-drinking,
Not too dark and not too light.
Halflings are weak-headed people,
And they cannot make good beer.
They all cut their ale with water;
Halfling liquor gives no cheer.
Gnomish liquor’s rich and tasty,
Not too strong and not too weak;
Halflings who drink Gnomish ale
Wind up passed out in the street.
Elvish liquor tastes like flowers,
Elvish mead is far too sweet.
Elvish wine is hoity-toity,
Go and pour it in the street!
Gnomish liquor strikes a balance,
Not too bitter, not too sweet.
Elves should learn from gnomish brewers
How to make their drinks complete.
Humans cannot hold their liquor,
Humans can’t enjoy a drink.
Humans always start to brawling,
Human’s table manners stink.
Gnomes are all polite and mannered,
Full of cheer and full of song,
Gnomes can drink and stay clear-headed,
Gnomes can drink and get along.
Let’s not talk of orcish liquor,
Half-orc brewers make a swill
Even dwarves can tell is awful;
‘Fore you drink it, write your will.
That’s why we drink Gnomish liquor,
Gnomish ale and Gnomish beer,
Patronize a Gnomish brewer
For a lifetime of good cheer!
Dwarves think of themselves as brewers,
Trust the dwarves to get it wrong;
Dwarvish ale is thick and bitter,
Dwarvish whisky far too strong.
Gnomish beer is rich and wholesome,
Gnomish beer is brewed just right,
Flavorful and easy-drinking,
Not too dark and not too light.
Halflings are weak-headed people,
And they cannot make good beer.
They all cut their ale with water;
Halfling liquor gives no cheer.
Gnomish liquor’s rich and tasty,
Not too strong and not too weak;
Halflings who drink Gnomish ale
Wind up passed out in the street.
Elvish liquor tastes like flowers,
Elvish mead is far too sweet.
Elvish wine is hoity-toity,
Go and pour it in the street!
Gnomish liquor strikes a balance,
Not too bitter, not too sweet.
Elves should learn from gnomish brewers
How to make their drinks complete.
Humans cannot hold their liquor,
Humans can’t enjoy a drink.
Humans always start to brawling,
Human’s table manners stink.
Gnomes are all polite and mannered,
Full of cheer and full of song,
Gnomes can drink and stay clear-headed,
Gnomes can drink and get along.
Let’s not talk of orcish liquor,
Half-orc brewers make a swill
Even dwarves can tell is awful;
‘Fore you drink it, write your will.
That’s why we drink Gnomish liquor,
Gnomish ale and Gnomish beer,
Patronize a Gnomish brewer
For a lifetime of good cheer!
... 
I have an idea for this...
Guite Good Song.